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| My latest mental accessory: pylons! |
I'm having a rough day with my inner voice. Three days away from the mat and the pylons have taken over! I desperately need to spend quality time on my mat or else it starts to get cloudy in my head. Bottom line - a few words of doubt slipped through the cranium cracks causing the pylons (which represent obstacles) to take center stage.
Universe, c'mon you know I'm your biggest fan. You can drop any bull**** on my lap and I'll still give you props. Today is just one of those days. My head is filled with anatomy, yoga philosophy, pranayama techniques - basically it's overloaded with info. In less than 42 hrs, I'll be writing my long overdue Anusara yoga exam. As I'm trying to get all the details, sanskrit words, and meanings mentally aligned, I'm starting to doubt myself.....and I'm upset that for doing so. As I visualize those bright orange pylons, I start to re-connect to my breath. The breath always brings me back to the present moment, so whenever I feel emotionally stuffed, I breathe it out. As always, it brings me back to center, back to the source.
The source is where all the goodness we hold internally manifests. We're all on the path of life - some paths are smooth for years, others are full of detours, and some are just loaded with pot holes and u-turns. Whatever path you're on, the journey holds the meaning. My path is pretty smooth, but I definitely have a lot of hills. Occasionally, I get the unexpected road block. That's what happened today. The first pylon held a sign saying, "Route ahead questionable". A few kilometres ahead, the second pylon read, "The OM road is under construction". Lovely! So I follow the paved road to the third pylon that reads, "Enter at your Heart's risk". Pause. Hit the brakes. Let's not forget who I am. I'm Marisa, the almighty thinker! It takes about 8 minutes of mental analysis (so freakin' exhausting!) and then I choose to put the pedal to the metal and run right through that pylon!
Yes, Universe, this is a thank you letter! I wasn't writing to complain (although it did start off that way). I've been studying so hard, that I slipped into the 'kleshas' zone. Self-inquiring meditation and universal support got me back on track. The knot in my stomach (always read your body's messages), as well as the quality of my inbreath (reflects our readiness to participate in life as it unfolds within us) explained everything. This feeling of doubt clearly reveals that I'm 'doing' more rather than 'being' more. Sometimes the pylons are heaven-sent symbols advising us to slow down and even stop, breathe, be - commit to living in the moment.
Namaste,
M
