Cry Sum Moar



Fashionably Sad

I have a dear friend who was diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer this year. Another friend's mom was just diagnosed as well. I have a friend who lost a child; two other friends that lost their husbands. Another friend lost her dad and I lost my grandmother this year. Where will each one of us go from here? And will we try to dodge the pain or face it?
When my friend hit her vulnerable button, making me the only witness to her meltdown, I sighed with silent relief. She, on the other hand, almost slapped herself for crying. "I'm a happy person. I hate feeling sad," she exclaimed. Let's pause for a minute for a reality check. Which human being is constantly happy? No one, right! You can't possibly go through life with a permanent smile on your face. That's just bullshit. There's no truth in always being happy or positive. Everyone has their Debbie Downer moments - that's the truth.
As I encouraged her to cry, she reminded me that crying meant she was weak. Well if I was diagnosed with cancer, under 40, with 2 young children, I'd be a hot mess, and I'd drink to that! Here's the deal - you can't bypass the pain. If you keep suppressing the sadness, how do you think that will serve you? You're broken. Acknowledge the fact that you’re hurting. Let the emotions rise to the surface, so the grief can pour over. CRY. CRY. Cry so much that your heart literally hurts.
During lunch with a broken friend, she told me no one likes to be sad. I disagree. I think we're afraid of our own sadness. If we were uncomfortable with sadness, Grey’s Anatomy wouldn't be a hit series. The truth is we allow ourselves to cry for others’ heartbreak, but struggle with our own. So we’re compassionate with other people’s sadness, to the point where we’re crying with them, but when it comes to our mess, we’d rather turn a blind eye.
I can’t tell you if the following chapter holds the happy ending. I also won’t tell you that it’ll get better. Some circumstances are so painful that I can only hope a person can move forward with an optimistic heart. What I know for sure is that sadness has a right to live just as much as happiness does. Stop listening to people who tell you to stop crying when you do. They're just uncomfortable seeing you suffer. Find a trustworthy friend that you can share your pain with. But before you can do that, you gotta refrain from judging your reaction to your own pain, when it pops up.  
You're allowed to say that today is not a good day for you. Give yourself permission to be in a bad mood. When your emotions start to get turbulent, allow yourself to ride the bumps. Have your ‘cure kit’ handy (deep breaths, a box of Kleenex, a pillow to pound, scream, or cry in). I’ve been there too. God knows I’ve showered my yoga mat with plenty of mucus and tears over the years. It took me a long time to explore blockages that brought me deeper suffering. I’ve been there and I continue to go there when I need to.
As we prepare for the holidays, let’s remember that although it’s not the hap-happiest season of all for some of us, it’s OK. Be true to your emotions. Let them live. For 2014, I wish you all an explosion of champagne tears. There's always light after the darkness...there will be happy after sad, and although I can’t promise true happiness will ever be the same, know that we’re all a little broken and that's OK.

 

Top 10 Gift Ideas

It's the most wonderful time of the year....for giving and sharing. 

Drum roll pleeeze.......voila my 2013 fave gift ideas fit for any credit card limit!

Make it thoughtful. Make it creative. Make it fun. Make it special. Make it meaningful.

Hope you get inspired. XOXO

#1. Nerf Rebelle Bow, to be a kid again & practice your aim (available at Target)

#2. Silk wrap Intention Bracelet, to start 2014 with a kickass intention (laughlivelovejewelry.com)

#3. Starbucks Stainless Steel Tumbler Rose Gold, for fashionable latte drinkers (Starbucks shops)

#4. AMEN leather bracelets with Ave Maria engraved, for comfort & peace (amencollection.com)

#5. Typography nail polish set, for inspiring words you can read off your toes (Sephora.com)

#6. Vitamix blender, for healthy eating & juicing (vitamix.com)

#7. Yogi Tea, the only tea that offers unique messages on each tea bag (yogiproducts.com)

#8. Archetypes by Caroline Myss, for anyone who wants to discover who they are (indigo.com)

#9. Positive Affirmations Pillowcases, to manifest good thoughts (etsy.com/shop/decoromantra)

#10. Tracy Anderson Rebounder,to have fun & sweat (tracyandersonmethod.com)

 

Gifts are fabulous, but don't forget: “The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”

-Thich Nhat Hanh

When in Doubt: Aim Right

So today I thought it'd be fun to split my legs so far apart that they'd possibly snap! Not sure that was the best idea considering how creative I had to be to get out of the pose. I love manipulating my limbs to extremes. When I push myself physically, the battle between my mind and my body begins. I breathe. I cringe. I keep breathing. The sensation is uncomfortable, but I hang in, or I opt out. It really depends on how I feel on any given day.  Every breath brings a choice - flow or go.

Think about all the choices you've made since you woke up this morning. You chose your outfit, your breakfast, even your attitude. How we choose to flow through each day depends mostly on how we think. The morning might begin ambitious, like the start of a half-marathon. Then a whisper blows through your mind that changes everything. Suddenly, you feel depleted and unmotivated. Your mind has checked your feet outta the race. The next hour will be physically exhausting due to your cruel self-talk that sounds something like this: "You should've stayed in bed"; "Today just isn't your day"; "You're not ready for this"; WTF we you thinking?!"

We're so bombarded by choices that most of the time, we find ourselves debating our decision. I'm at the point in my life where I can't decipher bad choices vs. good ones. I make them and just flow with whatever comes. If I make a 'bad' choice, I believe it'll lead me to another place that could be better.

After spending four days at a yoga conference, surrounded by good vibes and a desire to feel peaceful, I began reflecting on my path. I've made choices that perhaps I wouldn't make today, but the difference between then and now, is my outlook. Today I look in every direction with trust that the arrow I'm drawn to will lead me to the right place. Do you give a lot of your power to your choices? Do you allow them to define you, belittle you, or better you, strengthen you? Think about that.

We all aspire to make the right choice - not good or bad. We're all aiming for something spectacular (perhaps with fireworks and fairy dust), that can only manifest from our unlimited choices. This quote really captures the essence of trusting the good, the bad, the right, the wrong: "An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means it's just going to launch you into something great." Keep aiming, for eventually you will nail your target. And when you get to that spectacular somewhere, there better be champagne ;)

 

 

Dying to Win

We need shade to appreciate the light



You woke up this morning. Check. You walked over to pour yourself a cup of coffee. Check. You're not terminally ill. Check with fireworks. It's going to be a damn good day! If for one minute today you're feeling stuck, depleted, low-spirited or simply negative - Stop. Breathe. Surrender to whatever the universe is firing your way. Nothing really bad or really good ever lasts that long anyway.
With pink ribbons overpowering Halloween decorations, it's pretty clear that cancer has gone from awareness to commonness. This post is for the cheerleaders on the sidelines, supporting anyone fighting an illness. It's also for those who are spectators in the bleachers. Wherever you're standing, you're familiar with the rules. Cancer or any terminal illness is like watching the Super Bowl - you know someone is gonna lose, but you don't know when. Ah the 'when' period is dreadfully painful.
From my experience on the sidelines, I credit yoga for helping me accept the process of life. I sat bedside for weeks helping my grandmother transition into her next phase of life. I'm not going to lie - the little girl in me didn't want to let go. I did a whole lot of breathing. I'd breathe into that pain so that when she'd look at me, she knew she could surrender to the inevitable.
And you? How are you effected by pink ribbons and cancer fundraisers? If you weren't equipped to accept your loss, it's not too late. The universe gives you plenty of second chances. You watched a rookie get intercepted by an overwhelming force, famous for touchdowns. You hoped, you prayed, you wished the odds were better. May be you regret not being present enough. There's a reason you stayed away from the sidelines and that's OK. Cheerleading isn't for everyone. Make peace with yourself by surrendering to what you cannot control.
For all of us who know someone presently ill, I encourage you to follow the rules and cry. Crying is a normal reaction that gets you bonus points. Waiting for the 'when' sucks, but it's an opportunity to recognize how blessed you are to have this person in your life. With a heavy heart, I smile at all those I've lost to cancer, and I pull out my pom poms to the ones on the field.
If you're complaining today. Stop. Breathe. Remind yourself you're healthy, and keep growing.

I Heart Nothingness

I'm feeling very mellow today. The dust has settled after a wild, long week-end high. It feels so good to reflect on my day only to realize that all I've done so far is eat and yoga. On the heels of Thanksgiving, I'm beyond grateful for being able to bask in nothingness. For years I worked tirelessly, feeling consumed by jetlagged business trips, stuffy fashion events, and a boss who never accepted "impossible" as an answer. Back then I was proud to look at my calendar in wonderment of when I'd be able to schedule a pee break. I was busy, busy, busy. Busy equalled performance; performance brought results; results delivered achievement ; achievement equalled value*. Today, my evaluation looks a lil more like this: busy equals doing; doing distracts from being; not being causes imbalance; imbalance creates instability; instability awakens truth. This means that we'd rather be busy with distractions than taking time for ourselves. And when we silence our accumulated 'stuff', we're just suppressing our truth.
It only takes 5 minutes to re-set your mind and relax your body. Sitting, and just breathing can settle anxiety, insomnia, fear. Breathing alone can reduce tension in your body. We're part of a culture that needs a list of credentials, full inbox, 500+ Facebook friends, a LinkedIn profile, Twitter account, gym membership, and a sold out Saturday night schedule to feel valued. Whatever happened to glorifying the luxury of doing nothing, yet being more? Dictionary.com defines 'nothingness' as follows: noth·ing·ness
1. the state of being nothing.

2. something that is nonexistent: a view of humanity as suspended between infinity and nothingness. 

3. lack of being; nonexistence

4. unconsciousness or death

5. utter insignificance, emptiness, or worthlessness; triviality

WOW!  "Nonexistent"? "Insignificant"? "Worthlessness"? I think this definition needs a 2013 update! You heard it here first - Nothingness is the healthiest pastime. When I ask someone what they're doing and they reply "nothing", I'm actually impressed. According to my husband (reality checkmate), doing nothing doesn't pay Hydro. Granted it doesn't pay the bills, however I'm not saying to do nothing all day, every day. I'm suggesting that you do less and be more. Sit with yourself more often. Stop, breath, listen. Feel the four corners of your feet touch the earth. Inhale the crisp October air. Listen to the rustling of the leaves. Watch the beauty of their changing color. Just take 5 minutes a day to tune in and connect to the rawness of life. You'll slow down, become kinder, a little more patient, and tolerant with yourself and everything around you.

Namaste.

*Don't let someone else estimate your value. Find your own value through the simplicities of just being.

Blind Man, Blind Man, What do you See?

What do you see?

"IF THE WORLD WAS BLIND, HOW MANY PEOPLE WOULD YOU IMPRESS?" -Boonaa Mohammed

Four out of five women wear make-up. MAC sells 1 lipstick and 1 eye shadow every two seconds.
The cosmetics industry was valued at 426 billion in 2011.  And 2012 was officially the year of the silicone breast implants. Clearly, we're investing in our appearance!
Is our self-esteem so bruised that we're turning to wrinkle reducing products for self-confidence? Why do we feel this need to enhance how we look? On a deeper note - are you equally invested in your well-being as you are in what we're seeing? If the world was blind, you know you wouldn't wear make-up or dye your hair. I'm the first to admit, even on my dishevelled days, I make sure I'm wearing the 'right' shoes. Heck I even went tanning last week so I could 'look' better in my dress. That is the power of visual perception! As a result, we judge ourselves and others based on appearance.
We all aspire to look a certain way, in hope of feeling better about ourselves. The truth is we'll only love ourselves unconditionally, when we can strip away the layers of pretence, and accept what we find. Underneath the highlights, bronzing powder, miracle bra, Spanx, is you, and me. We may not be authentic on the outside, but we should all aspire to be authentic on the inside. Ask yourself: Is what we see fuelling your self-confidence?
Today, anyone can look successful, but not many of us  feel successful. While we're busy enhancing our external features, we're neglecting our internal Self. Before you judge yourself on the scale (or on your yoga mat), consider the weight of your self-confidence first. We all have insecurities, but I think most of us focus on our physical inadequacies, while ignoring our emotional ones. Let's look in the mirror (before disguising our face) and accept what we see.....at least for today (baby steps).

Fall into Change

With Fall suspended in the air, 'change' is itching to take over. From an aesthetic perspective, the leaves start to change colour. The air sharpens. The sun descends earlier. There's something about Fall that I respect. For me, it's like the unveiling of my New Year Resolutions. I'm suddenly motivated to take a leap. Improve myself. Be more whole. I'm ready for CHANGE!
As I prepare to teach my new yoga session tomorrow, I remind myself of the following: "Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can." (that's most likely what I'll tell my students). Today you're somewhere; tomorrow you'll be elsewhere. No two days are alike - heck no two minutes are either.
Change is lingering, as my daughter starts school, my workload increases, and my routine goes from dull to dynamic. The same way in which the leaves grow through stages, so do we. Fall marks the beginning of change, encouraging achievable goals, with a commitment to stay the course.
Now, I'm not suggesting you start taking Crossfit classes! It would be enlightening, however, if you set an intention that will allow you to inch your way to a new personal discovery. Notice how I said 'discovery' and not 'achievement'? This is not January 1st, where we're making bets with our ego. This is about going beyond our comfort, so that we can grow. As much as I'm nurturing my spiritual evolution, my change of choice has deeper roots. My intention for Fall is to reprogram my thoughts. It's time to drop the long-winded story and reboot. The mental chaos (fear, judgement, anger, worry, guilt, blame, regret) is stifling. With so much change going on in my life, my confidence is being tested. Then I watch the news with all its war coverage and wonder, 'How can we have world peace, if we don't know peace within ourselves?' How can I ever refrain from judging others, blaming their choices, or getting pissed off at their reactions, if I cannot resolve that within myself? We need to BE the change!
This season, don't just change your lipstick shade or hair colour. Change your self-talk. Change your path. Change how you see things. Change your thoughts. Re-discover a part of yourself you miss. Re-evaluate your self-worth. Be Change, to See Change!

The Dirty 30s

In the September issue of Glamour magazine, Jennifer Aniston was asked, "What would you tell yourself at various ages—like your teens, twenties, thirties, and early forties?" This question got me thinking. I immediately journeyed back to high school where it was all about drama (not the class), heart break, rebellion. Rewind and reflect. Who were you? What dream (or boy) were you chasing? Did you make the headlines or prefer the sidelines? Value loyalty or popularity? Prefer athletics, academics, or aesthetics? God, I so miss teenhood! I was a mashup of most of the above, but overall, I'm proud of who I was.
In my twenties though, things got a little messy. I was career driven, hopelessly in (and out) of love, and anxious about both. Once you toss up that grad hat, you're in the turning point of your life. You're in the high pressure zone to nail a career, find your soul mate, and move out. You kinda go from being in a hurry, to seeing blurry and ending in worry....because now you're 30! Ya, so my twenties included foreign affairs, gin tonics, panic attacks.
Nothing, however, beats your 30s, which leads me to Jennifer Aniston's  rockstar advice: "Thirties. Thirties. Go to therapy. Clean up all of the shit. Clean up all of the toxins and the noise. Understand who you are. Educate yourself on the self." I couldn't have said it better myself! (Shout out to Mr. Pitt for triggering her evolution).
In your thirties, the dust starts to settle and you see the light, or not. This decade, in particular, has such deep rooted value. You can't hide behind immaturity or deny accountability for the person you've chosen to become. "If you're not happy, you can become happy. Happiness is a choice." Thank you, Ms Aniston, for that humbling reminder. But how do we get to 'happy'? Well therapy is a good start. In actuality, the objective of therapy is to reunite you with your best self, however the path to happy is a dirt road.
All you thirty-something, emotionally rocky, repeat offenders at manifesting disappointment - STOP. Thirty gets dirty! We've all got shit, but some of us need a serious detox. I wish everyone would dig through their past, touch some unsettled, rotten crap and face it in therapy. I don't know a single person who wouldn't benefit tremendously from a dirt-digging, self-searching, couch-sitting experience. If we all sat with ourselves more often, looked within more deeply, silenced our ego intentionally; we'd start to understand who we are. Some people are actually afraid of who they'll find, so they avoid the journey. We all have choices. If you're desire is to be happy, I stand by Jen's advice: get rid of the accumulated shit, piled up over years of suffering. Who knew that personal dirt-digging would be the ultimate healing cleanse?!
On a compassionate note - we all grow through dirt. But on a 'happy' note - look for the lessons, not the motive.

Life Lessons Underwater

Swimming towards swim/life coach Frank

When I was a little girl, I'd stare at the ocean with fearful eyes, wondering what lived beneath. I'd look at the waves with knots in my belly. I believed that a wave would knock me down and I'd be a shark's dinner. It all began when my mom expressed her fear of water. I concluded that if my mom was afraid, than I should be too. So in 36 years, a million pools, and countless beaches, I merely dipped 'til my waistline. I'd sit along the shore amazed at all the children much younger than I, anxiously awaiting the next big wave. I let fear get the best of me, accepting that I'd never swim. I had children; we built a pool; fear dominated. But not anymore. This summer, I packed some courage on my trip to Florida. I was determined to prevail over years of inhibiting 'what if' scenarios.
My first swim lesson started with my 70 year old instructor, Frank, telling me I'd be doing laps in the pool before the end of my vacation. He didn't lie, nor did he ever give me false hope. When I'd panic mid swim, he'd remind me in a calm tone, to get out of my head. Before every swim, he'd repeat, "It's all about breath control." Ain't that the truth, Frank! My breath is what got me into the pool in the first place. Calming my mind and body tops my daily 'to do' list. Credit goes to my years of yoga practice for making me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable place. For me, being underwater was equivalent to being suffocated by a pillow. Swimming would only be possible once I'd be able to ignore the mental sabotage of possibly drowning. I'd start with a deep exhalation to calm down, then take a big air and 'crawl' to the end of the pool. I've never realized a more liberating experience as swimming underwater. Damn my bullshit thoughts for making me miss out on all the beauty that lives in the ocean!
All these years, I thought I was missing guts, but what I was really missing was trust - in the unknown, in myself. It's so easy to convince ourselves of what we can't achieve. We just buy into nonsensical thoughts that we won't succeed, accept it as the truth, and let it be. Learning how to swim is a lot like the process of life. You take a deep breath and go slow - can't skip a step. You won't learn everything in one lesson. You have to trust, believe, and flow with what you've got. Wise Frank told me that you know you've hit a milestone when you mess up (swallow water or skip a new breath), but you still finish your swim. That statement is powerful beyond the pool or my yoga mat. When the Universe throws you lemons and you make a margarita - you're in the flow. It's when we resist what is present to us that we hinder our progress, thus stalling what we're meant to be living. It took almost four decades of stalling for me to finally move underwater. I'm proof that it's never too late to conquer a fear. I spent years tangled in my ego's web, worried that I'd be ridiculed for not knowing how to swim. Now, with my cutting edge Speedo goggles, lean body and long arms, I look like I can take on Missy Franklin ;). This time I'm convincing myself that I can!

OMMMMADONNA

Madonna: My Mentor

It's never too late to wish someone a happy birthday, and if you know me, then you'd predict I'd be late! On August 16th, my childhood mentor, MADONNA, celebrated her 57th birthday. It'd be sinful to dismiss her birth date since she had such an impact on my life.
Back in the 80s, my sister and I would karaoke away to her 'Like a Virgin' album in our backyard. We adored everything about her from her music, to her dance moves, to her fashion sense, and her fearless attitude. Throughout high school, she continued to be my icon. What was it about this Italian-American sex symbol that intrigued me from the age of 8? Aside from her award winning music, she was powerful. She exposed me to the unknown; heightening my knowledge of everything taboo. AIDS and homosexuality weren't hot dinner topics in my Italian household. Her influence had me particpating in AIDS walk-a-thons, and even cheering on homosexuals at the Gay Pride parade. But with all I learned from Madonna, the most valuable teaching came when I was 28 years old. Inspired by her insanely toned body, I researched her health and fitness habits. At that time, she was a yoga activist, following a macrobiotic and Ayurvedic diet. Of course, back then those words were foreign to me, yet like everything Madonnaish, they peeked my interest.
OK, I'll admit that before all, Madonna had me at black plastic bracelets, fishnet crop tops and black booties. I tried to dress, dance and sing like her. So it should come as no surprise that even in my late 20s, I looked to her for inspiration. This time, however, I had no idea that she'd change my life. It was Louise Madonna Veronica Ciccone who inspired me to try yoga and learn about Eastern medicine. I became self-educated on all holistic health diets, remedies, and therapeutic energy work. I went on to temporarily leave the fashion world to start teaching yoga. Although I haven't renewed my Madonna fan club membership in forever, she'll always be that powerful force that touched me beyond the physical world. The leather cutoff gloves and one piece bodysuits may be retired, but I still get nostalgic when I come across Madonna images.
Sometimes in life, you can lead someone to something better, without even knowing it. Share your ideas, inspirations, experiences with others. You never know who's really paying attention. Happy belated Birthday Madge - sending you appreciation for exposing yoga to a girl who just wanted to have your arms.
Namaste.
M

The truth about Little Miss Chatterbox

Do you ever reflect on your childhood? What kinda kid were you? Were you labelled as Little Miss Bossy, Little Miss Brilliant, Little Miss Chatterbox (that was me!), Little Miss Naughty or were you Mr. Brave, Mr. Clumsy, Mr. Funny, Mr. Quiet? Somewhere, in the long list of titles from the "Mr. Men and Little Miss" series, you can spot lil you. Can you remember any pivotal childhood moments that sparked emotions?
As Little Miss Chatterbox, my fondest elementary school memory was in grade 6, when I represented the NDP party in our school elections. I was the only girl (Little Miss Ballsy) running against 2 boys. We campaigned, said a speech, and made headlines in the Montreal Gazette and Pulse News. My gift-of-gab proved to work for me, rather than against me....which was rare!
As the youngest of two daughters, my sister set the barre pretty high. She was Little Miss Brainy and I secretly hated her for that. In my parents eyes, she was the academic achiever, whereas I was the busybody chatterbox, successful at distracting others. For most parents, education holds such high value, that academic results define their children. My sister was the smart one and I was the creative one, but since report cards were like diplomas, my future wasn't looking so stellar. Naturally, I never quite felt good enough since my report card figures didn't hover in the nineties. Come September, I'd hope for 2 things - that I'd be in the same class as my best friends and that I wouldn't have any of my sister's teachers. Well, unfortunately that didn't always happen, so my chatterbox title reined.
There's something bitter sweet about being a kid. You're carefree, yet you're put into a box. If it's not your sibling you're compared to, it's your peers. I understand that comparison is a natural human act. In parenthood, we get caught up in our babies' motor skill development, that we get stressed when our child misses a milestone. But while we're so in tune to meeting these intellectual objectives, what are we doing about the emotional ones? I mean, kudos to me for talking before the age of one, but I don't remember that. What I do remember, is trying to keep up with my sister's accomplishments, and the disappointment that followed when I missed the mark. I had my own rockstar moments that my parents celebrated, but for the most part, I felt underestimated. How our parents dealt with our triumphs and tribulations speaks volumes about who we believe we are today. Did your parents show empathy when you felt like a failure? Were they your biggest fans or your worst critics?
Every one of us has an inner child. Most of us still have a wounded child alive within us. The emotional garbage we carry today, dates back to childhood. Here's the good news: It's never too late to heal old wounds. You just have to reset the date, go back in time, and get on the rollercoaster. You'll relive the highs and lows that have manifested into the person you are today. You'll understand how you became the person you are.
Overall, my childhood was fantastic! My parents believed family time was sacred, so they were very present. But like every child, I suffered. I looked up to my older sister, road her coattail, even lived in her shadow for a while. As much as it pained me to be labelled and compared, I see how I'm capable of transmitting those wounds to my own kids. I'm learning to untie those emotional knots by accepting my children for who they are, not what they are.
The "Mr. Men and Little Miss" series has some pretty interesting characters. I'd like to believe that each one of us is made up of multiple personalities. Heck we have good and bad days, so we never know what character mash up we're gonna be. Being Little Miss Clumsy today, doesn't mean I can't be Little Miss Careful tomorrow. One thing I know for sure is that I'll never be Little Miss Know-It-All! Embracing who you are, on any given day, is the best way to live through your inner child. Life is too short to be serious and heavy, so try to make it playful and light! Don't get infected by your old wounds. Instead, focus on living like a combo of: Little Miss Seeker, Little Miss Healer, Little Miss Kindness.

Got Kids? Bitch Here.

Tonight is one of those nights I wonder how I got into motherhood. How? Oh yes, it all happened when I foolishly stopped using contraception! So young (not really), so naive (indeed). I guess you can say my day took a sour turn when I picked up my children at daycare. I walked in smiling (naivety repeats), only to open their agendas, and see a big 'x' over the tornado (FYI - the tornado isn't the daily forecast)! 'La tornade' is the icon that best described their temperament today. It's nice to know they were aligned with Mother Nature. Although I'd rather tip toe out of the daycare, alone, I like the educators too much to leave my brats behind.
Clearly, their capricious behaviour follows me home. The highlights before dinner include: the pout, then whining with repetition, then the eye of the storm peeks with a crying fit. Why, why haven't I ever planned an emergency evacuation for times like these?! I'm breathing, they're whining. I'm breathing deeper, they're whining louder. I'm calling out to the Lord for help, as one is wrapped around my leg and the other is throwing herself on the floor. Calling all mothers and Mr. Moms out there - how do you keep your cool when your hot temper is firing up your blood pressure??
I'm often surrounded by children and I think I'm a mom that's mindful - especially towards other kids. I seem to have a high tolerance for sulking children, that aren't mine. I can sit there for half an hour patiently listening to their side of the story. I encourage them to express their emotions so they don't repress their hurt. But on the home front, it's usually an action packed drama, where everyone takes turns playing the villain and the victim. We've got the emotional mash up: anger, despair, excitement, happiness. I look forward to the day I become the new Kris Jenner, because my kids are talented. My daughter has perfected her dramatic audition by adding tears. My son may only be 2, but he can definitely throw a few punches. He's got facial scars with bruises that just upped his worth. So I've got Hollywood leading characters, but no tabloid coverage. Who needs "Keeping up with the Kardashians" when you can have "Losing it with the Luciferos"?!
Motherhood is like joining the army. You have days where, although you wake up early, you find yourself under the radar. Then you have those days, when you're up early again, and you're dodging bullets from all angles. You're fighting to survive, when playing dead seems like a better idea! I know I'm being dramatic, which is the result of 'one of those days'. That's when I think of the mother I met in a soccer field parking lot, with four young children (including twins) - I pray for her. I swear I do. Whatever it is that gives have the strength to bring all four children to a soccer game, remains an inspiring mystery. To all the other mothers who never, or very rarely, complain about their kids - please don't message me. I don't think we could be friends. There's a strength in numbers, and I'm only connecting with like-minded moms. It feels bloody good to release some steam once and a while. I complain, I cry, I fall down, I breathe, and I start over again. Everything works in polarities. You gotta have good and bad days for balance. It's OK to wish you could hide in the attic every Saturday afternoon. It's OK to spend quite time on your toilet bowl. It's OK to admit you're overwhelmed and unappreciated. Every single mother recognizes these feelings.
For me, anyhow, my daughter Chloe continues to be my most valuable teacher. She keeps me evolving into my mom role every day. It's quiet now, because they're sleeping. This is when I appreciate them the most ;) Sending love and light out to all the warrior moms out there. Praying for an enjoyable long week-end in the trenches of momhood. Actually I'm sending out love, light and laughter (the secret to sanity)! May the force be with you. Namaste.

Super Soul Summah

Vasisthasana in super soul sunshine

It's officially SUMMAH! For me, summer is way more exciting than starting a new year. I'm removing layers of clothing, exposing my feet to grass, and lovin' the sunlight (especially after 8 pm). Our Canadian climate has us living in darkness for roughly 105 days! How can I not make a big deal outta summer?! Time to put on your party visor and hook up with nature.
Summer isn't only about sunkissed cheeks, pedicured feet, and sangria mixes. Step outside, look up at the sun, and say cheers to natural light. Commit to making this summer your best yet by nourishing your mind, body, spirit.
Super-Soul-Summah: Mind
June is perfect for a mental detox and the remedy is meditation. Now, I'm guessing sitting crossed legged, with your eyes closed, listening to birds chirping, isn't for you. So before you click off this page, allow me to enlighten you on meditating. If you never thought you could meditate, than you're in for a surprise with "Marisa's Mindful Method". Summer is the best season for juicy fruits. Disconnect from technology, grab an orange, sit outside, and get ready to be mindful. Close your eyes and smell your orange. Touch it. Feel its texture. Is it smooth? Soft? Does it have any noticeable scars? With your eyes still closed, begin to peel it. As you peel away the skin, reflect on the life path of this orange. The journey began on a tree somewhere down south. Someone nourished the tree to ensure it grew to be healthy. Consider all the love this orange was given as it travelled across the globe, eventually landing in the aisle of a grocery store. You then walked in and selected the very orange you're peeling. Now you may open your eyes. With the peel removed, you can see its core. Just like us, our exterior might be flawed, but the best part is the inside. Close your eyes again. Take a bite and chew your orange with mindfulness. Pay attention to its taste. Notice if it's sour, sweet, juicy, or even cold. Now as your body is being nourished, send love and gratitude to all the people who contributed to the journey of this orange. Be grateful to this delightful fruit for all the nutrients it's providing your body, as well as your mind. Open your eyes. You just experienced a visualize meditation.
Super-Soul-Summah: Body
Though being in the dark about half the year has its pros (trying to be positive), nothing beats the blues like the sun. Sunlight is the best form for obtaining Vitamin D, which is created by the skin when exposed to UV rays from the sun. Not only is Vitamin D beneficial for bone health, but it's been proven to be an immune system booster. So before you lather on tons of sunscreen, give your skin 15 minutes (for thousands of units of vitamin D) of natural sunlight.  While your skin is feasting on Vitamin D, go pick some dandelions! Walking barefoot on these weeds is very therapeutic, but consuming them is even better. Dandelions are a fabulous relief for water retention, so before you start blaming the heat for your swollen feet, drink up some dandelion tea. If they're pesticide free, you can literally pick 'em and toss them in hot water. Voila, a dandelion tea party!
Super-Soul-Summah: Spirit
No one likes to be left in the dark. Summer is the ultimate time to honour light. It stimulates the organs of sight, allowing things to be visible. I do appreciate the dark because that's when the body rests. However, light awakens us, not only literally, but spiritually as well. From a metaphysical perspective, light represents faith. It serves as the bright side of things, the light at the end of the tunnel, optimism, reliance, security. On our darkest days, we rely on that crack of light to remind us that we're OK. No matter what hardship you're living, know this: "Darkness cannot drive out light; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that" - Martin Luther King Jr. Let this summer calm your mind, nourish your body, brighten your spirit.
Love&Light

I Feel. Therefore I am.



Reflecting in Ardha Chandra Chapasana

Did you read the quote, by Abraham Hicks, in this picture? How true is this statement?! Think about it - when someone makes you happy, it's because they're connecting to a part of you that recognizes that joy. And when someone makes you so angry you want to bitch slap them, it's because they're poking at anger that already exists in you. No one 'makes' you feel anything. Contrary to what you may believe, you have complete control over your feelings. The only thing that others can do, is awaken feelings that already exist within you. So when your bitchy boss throws you under the bus in the board room, (causing you to feel hurt, mad, undervalued) your feelings are simply reflecting her actions. Your re-action speaks much louder than her action. Do you get that?  What I think of you has everything to do with me, and very little to do with you. If I label you as judgemental, insensitive, unreliable, it's because somewhere in my life, I've put those labels on myself as well. Within all human relationships, we'll discover people who love us and people who hate us. The most valuable lesson to retain is, that in either circumstance, don't buy into someones opinion of you. Whatever they think of you, they think of themselves - good and bad. Now that you know this, think of someone you love and someone you strongly dislike. Describe what you love about your fave person and then clarify what irritates you about the other. Explore the emotions they awaken within you. Send gratitude out to both people in your life. After all, they show us what we need to learn, ONLY when we're open and ready to see that truth. People will guide us through emotional enlightenment. Be mindful of what they awaken and grow from what you discover.

 



Waiting for her Last Breath

Nonna Maria with her hero, Padre Pio

I'm sure you've been wondering why I haven't posted in a while. As some of you may be aware, my grandmother is very ill. However, writing my blog is very therapeutic, so today I've decided to let you in on what I'm living these days.
I've been spending my days by my grandmother's bedside, watching her take her final breaths. For two-and-a half years, she's been battling cancer. We observed first hand, the torture that comes with chemo. And though she experienced every possible side effect, the most traumatic consequence was that of losing her hair. At 78 years old, she treasured every lock. Every strand of grey had a story. When chemo came to an end, she was overjoyed to see her hair grow back. It was a rebirth to what would be the final chapter in her life.
My Nonna Maria has been my pillar since childhood. She practically raised me, and as most grandparents, she also spared me punishments and 'time outs'. Her compassion radar was so acute and connected to every person she came across. Perhaps her mindfulness to be loving and kind was rooted in her devotion to God, Jesus Christ, and the Church. She found such comfort in the words of the Holy Bible, absorbing every proclamation. Oftentimes, she'd recite a passage from the Bible as a means to justify her thoughts on a matter. One day, as we talked about her suffering, she looked at me and said in Italian, "Gesù ha sofferto per noi, ed anche noi dobbiamo soffrire" (Jesus suffered for us, so we must suffer as well). She never wanted pity for her pain. Until last week-end, she still fought to lead a normal life while on the cusp of death. Her name is holy, her faith is inarguable, and her spirit is pure. She's truly a rare human being that I'm blessed to have shared my life with.
Nonna Maria represents a woman who is committed to giving; a daughter who was guided by love; a sister who nurtured her 7 siblings; a wife who, even during chemo, remained dedicated to serving to husband; and most importantly, is her role as a mother. She has told me countless times, that a mother is always a mother. Through every trial, tribulation, accomplishment, or failure, she is wholly devoted to her two children, four grandchildren, and four great grandchildren.
I sit beside her each day, reciting the rosary, while watching her slowly make her way to the gates of Heaven. Every day, I hope to see her eyes open, so she can catch one final glimpse of my faithful eyes. I know she'll be in a peaceful place, watching over us, anticipating our next milestone.
Watching someone die is beyond painful. The last eye contact I had with her, she shed a tear. That tear was made up of every treasured memory we shared. Through this grievous experience, I've turned to my Buddhist guru for enlightenment. His words have been so comforting, so I want to share them with all of you so that you can live a more mindful life, like Nonna Maria did.
 "Life is impermanent, but that does not mean that it is not worth living. It is precisely because of its impermanence that we value life so dearly. Therefore we must know how to live each moment deeply and use it in a responsible way. If we are able to live the present moment completely, we will not feel regret later. We will know how to care for those who are close to us and how to bring them happiness. When we accept that all things are impermanent, we will not be incapacitated by suffering when things decay and die." - Thich Nhat Hanh
In the last months, I've been privileged to have spent my free time with my grandmother. I realized that being present for someone you care deeply about, is the best gift you can offer. Remember that. Be present, so when it's time to let go, you'll have no regrets.
Namaste.

3 Ways to Fuck Cancer

pintrest.com

We've all heard it before. Your mother, sister, grandfather, friend, or you - "You have Cancer". As you absorb those heavy words, you visualize a train heading at full speed, in your direction.
According to cancer.ca, 'Cancer is a disease that mostly affects Canadians aged 50 and older, but it can occur at any age.' May be it's time to adjust that statement since, in the last 2 years, I have known 5 people, UNDER 40, whose lives were taken by this bullshit disease! Wake up human race! We're all on the battlefield and unless you start arming yourself with the right ammunition, you'll be next!
#1. Food
Why are so many of us battling this merciless disease? Yes, the hormones, pesticides, aspartame, dioxin, genetically altered seeds (thanks Monsanto!) do contribute to the overwhelming increase in tumours. After all, we're eating and drinking small amounts of toxic crap daily, thus weakening our immune system over time. So, #1 Eat Sensibly. I'm not saying you can’t indulge in fast food or Tim Horton’s iced lattes, but be conscious of what you're eating. If you're eating habits are poor, include supplements in your diet. Running low on energy? Take some Royal Jelly (its bee pollen available at any natural health store). Hate eating veggies? Take a shot of wheatgrass daily. Get informed on easy dietary adjustments to keep your immune system healthy. Should cancer surface, your body will be prepared to defend itself.
#2. Tune In
We all love to hear ourselves talk, but while we're yapping away, we can't hear what our body is trying to tell us. If you have a reoccurring symptom, don't ignore it. If you feel comforted by antibiotics/band aid solutions, stop! Take responsibility for your body. Ask questions. Get to the root of the physical illness. From a sore throat, to a runny nose, to a dislocated knee, there's a wholistic reason behind each condition. Look beyond the literal of, "My neck is sore because I made a sharp turn". Your neck is sore because MAY BE you're a little stubborn, inflexible and refuse to see other sides of a situation. I'm definitely no doctor, but I've studied wholistic health and this is how we approach all distresses. It's never just black and white. There are always multiple layers to the final outcome, which I prefer to call a rainbow. So, #2 listen to your body. First it whispers, then it talks, then it yells. By the time it yells, it's so pissed off at you, it makes you suffer.
#3. Accept & Let Go
I believe that 98% of dis-ease is caused by stress. We all know stress and we all deal with it differently. Stress isn't only related to work, your kids, or financial worry. Stress is like a seed that you plant in your body. When you live through trauma such as, a loss, divorce, abandonment, abuse, rape, or any circumstance you cannot seem to let go of, you are watering a distressed seed. Your seed is growing when you suppress your anger, sadness, fear related to your trauma. You must deal with your suffering. How do you do that? Let your pain live out of your body. Try a contact sport, like boxing, even pounding a pillow works. Whatever will allow your body to release untapped emotions, is healthy.
We all suffer, but at different times. You're not alone. Crawl out of your darkness one tear at a time. Let go of what you cannot control. The cold, hard truth is that resistance will land you sitting across an MD who'll tell you, "You have Cancer". Every single person I know whose ill awakened their disease after something traumatic took place or after years of suppressing their emotions. So, start taking action. You can choose to repress, resist and nurture your tumour to grow or you can help yourself. Get unstuck because you matter.
If you'd like any info on therapists, energy healers, self-help books, please don't hesitate to send me a personal and confidential message to my email address: marisa1276@gmail.com.
For anyone who is living with any illness, I send you love and light - the light is always there, but you'll only see it when you're ready.
Namaste.

 

Dear Daughter

Dear Daughter,
There will come a day when you will be able to read this letter. As Mother's Day approaches, I wanted to honour this occasion by giving you the gift of my written words. Soon you'll be 5 years old, which confirms that time doesn't come with a pause app.
When you were born, my dear friend, Mary Ann, gave me a book entitled, 'I Was a Really Good Mom Before I had Kids'. Right there, at the Jewish General Hospital, the Universe saw the future! The title of that book was so telling, it revealed my maternal challenges in waiting. I'll admit, you were a good sleeper (thank God); you weren't a fussy eater (yipee); you were a dream jet setter (Amen) - BUT boy, were you ever active! Before you could walk, you wanted to fly. I still think that if you don't become the next Barbara Walters, you'll be the main attraction in a Cirque du Soeil production.
Looking back at my high school years, I clearly recall Nancy's mom telling me I'd one day be a reporter! I loved (still do) hearing myself talk before large audiences. Like me, you've been blessed with the 'gift-of-gab'. Although, most days, my tone hits a high pitch with a hint of anger, you know how to revert me back to 4 years old!
You see Chloe, you're my mirror, so whenever you show me something I don't like about myself, I get irritated. There's no doubt that you're my most treasured teacher. No one pokes at my inner child as often as you do. Yet amidst the verbal chaos, the highlight of my day comes when I tuck you in bed and you recite how much you love me: "I love you like the sky, the moon, the stars, the rainbows, the butterflies, the grass, the flowers, the water, the whole Universe". Sometimes you even include the wallpaper in your room, lip gloss, and a pack of gum!
There are days when I wonder why you picked me to be your Mommy. Then I remember my childhood and how scared I was of whatever I couldn't control. Whether it was the ocean, flying, amusement rides, or even dogs, they all made me feel anxious. But not you Chloe. You instead have this impulsive attitude that gets a rush out of fearful circumstances. You're likely to ride the heart pounding rollercoaster at the fair, dive into the deep end of the pool and celebrate a bumpy airplane landing!! I have no idea how YOU came outta ME. May be you picked me as your Mommy because you have so much to teach me.
So on my fourth Mother's Day, I'm reminded of how blessed I am to have you in my life. You're a committed big sister, who eagerly mentors your little brother to be daring. And though we learn from eachother, I admire your perseverance to get what you want. I believe you'll always be like a firework - bright, dramatic, and bursting with awe, awe, awe! May you forever be stimulated while 'interviewing' others, tempted by adventure, and compassionate towards yourself. Thank you for your daily teachings of patience, acceptance, love and deep breathing.
Love you to the moon and back,
Mommy Marisa

Would you Like you, if you Met you?

I read these words every single time I scan through my images folder of inspiration. I stop. Read the statement. Think. Then I move on to the next image. Today though, I want to share this very powerful question with you. Have you ever asked yourself this? I haven't....until I read it.
There are days when I read this and think, "not today". And then there are times after I finish teaching a yoga class, where I was fully committed to the students, and say, "hell ya"! I noticed that I feel like a rockstar when I connect to my best Self; when I feel passionate to serve others. I don't need to hear 'thank you' because I can feel the gratitude of those I helped. But within 24 hours, I can go from being an amazing human being, to a bitchy wife, to a compassionate friend, to a screaming mom. Wtf?! I'm not bi-polar, don't have multiple personalities (although sometimes I wonder ;)), yet if you interviewed 10 people about me, you'd get scattered perceptions.
My husband would highlight my disinterest in our finances (aka irresponsible), my mom would be my cheerleader because, after all, she made me (aka reflection of her), my students would say I make them feel good about who they are (aka inspiring), the children I teach would say I'm just like them (aka still a child), my accountant would say I'm clueless (aka passive), my close friend would say, I know my flaws (aka honest), my old friend would say it's all about me (aka self-absorbed), my mentor and former boss, Lou Adler, would say I was devoted to the brand (aka passionate), my last boss would say, I was a bull in a china shop (aka achiever), and my daughter Chloe would say, I yell a lot (aka frustrated). Y'all should try this little assignment. It's quite an eye opener.
You realize how different you are to others. The people I'm closest to, like my family, get the raw Marisa, with all my flaws, impatience, and attitude. But they also get some nurturing, compassion, and tolerance. Ya, they don't get the best me most of the time. Why is that? Well perhaps it's because I know they're not going anywhere, so I don't feel the need to please them. However, the other people (we'll call them the clouds, since they're just passing through) are the ones I want to leave my mark on. I want them to love me, be afraid of me, or look up to me. I just want them to remember me no matter what influence I may have had on them. Being memorable, apparently, is important to me (my 'AHA' moment of the day).
My family will never throw me to the curb (although I'm sure my husband has thought about it a few times lol). We're connected and we accept the good shit, as well as the bullshit, within each one of us. The important thing is to not get stuck on what I think others think about me. Here's what's echoing in the background: "don't get confused between what people say you are and who you know you are". I definitely hit the 'identity crisis' button when I feel emotionally derailed. But if I start to think, then I start believing my thoughts to be the truth of who I am. That's when it gets dangerous. My solution to get back on track is to sit, stop, meditate; to look for God within me. God, the Source, the Spirit, whatever name you want to give it, it exists in every single one of us. When we're not connected to that Source, we're not living our best lives.
This brilliant quote will set you free: "MUCH SUFFERING, MUCH UNHAPPINESS ARISES WHEN YOU TAKE EACH THOUGHT THAT COMES INTO YOUR HEAD FOR THE TRUTH" -Eckhart Tolle
I can have my perception of what 10 individuals think of me, but the only one that's true, is the understanding I have of myself. Knowing when I'm being blinded by my Ego or when I'm being guided by God, is the connection to my truth, and your truth as well.
I hope you grow a little stronger from this post, the way I have. I also hope you recognize what you don't like about yourself and own it. Only then can you start to become more of the YOU, you need to be. May you find the truth within you.
xo

Touch your Heart, Not your Toes

Chloe (4 yrs.old) in paschimottanasana pose

I've been teaching yoga consistently for a year now. In every class, I express my personal thoughts, ideas, experiences. I'd say my signature style is delivering a complete mind-body-spirit experience by weaving spiritual messages throughout the class.
I admit that I often think most of my students tune me out after the first 'OM'. Clearly they can all hear me, but I wonder if they're listening. And when one student leaves half way through the class or skips out on savasana, I wonder if my words made them uncomfortable.
I still remember my first yoga workshop with Seane Corn, as though it was yesterday. It was a detox flow that not only wrung out the physical toxins in our bodies, but the emotional ones too. I'd be holding a pose and then, through her deep words, she'd trigger an unhealed emotional wound, bringing me to tears. That was the first time I ever experienced the true meaning of yoga.
A few weeks ago, a student told me she had injured her ankle over the week-end. She had been accustomed to ankle/foot injuries, so she'd practice anyway. Before I could attribute a physical activity as the trigger for the sprain, she admits that every time there are big changes in her life, she hurts her ankle. Now I'm no Dr. Oz, but I do know a bit about the messages our bodies send us. It's obvious that change awakens her fears. By injuring the joint that allows movement, she can't go very far, which symbolically means she won't have to live through her fear just yet.
Then last week, she sees me after class and confesses that she always cries at the end of my closing sermon, but this week, she didn't. She seemed so relieved as she was telling me that she'd breakdown  when I would talk about self-love. The fact that she didn't cry this time, meant that she's beginning to believe in the depth and power of loving yourself.
Not only does she listen to my words, and is touched by them, but she's also receptive to the idea of facing change. She's still showing up to class, working with the pain, rather than opting for the fear to get comfortable. It's thanks to these firework occasions that I love yoga. Your mat will always be there to catch your fall. Your body will be so grateful for every asana, that it'll nudge your spirit to tune in too. I always say yoga holds up a mirror, however, "what we see depends mainly on what we look for".
Yoga isn't about wrapping your leg behind your ear; balancing on your head without hands, or touching your toes. Yoga is about tuning in, listening, connecting to your best self. Whether it's a 30, 60 or 120 minute class, if you're connected to your breath throughout, you're living yoga. It is trough riding my magic mat that I continue to grow by flowing with life's challenges, rather than going against them. Now, sit in a comfortable position, connect to your breath and flow (screw your toes, they're too far anyways)!

OPRAH: A Whisper on the Breath of God

Image: lapresse.ca

It's been over a week since Montreal welcomed Oprah Winfrey, yet her words still seem to echo out of the Bell Centre. It seemed surreal. Magical. Almost impossible. Little me, among 15,000 people, in the same room with Oprah. When she came on stage, we roared like a Habs Stanley Cup win. And to that welcome, she took a deep breath, paused, absorbed the love, and cried. Now I'm thinking, 'Isn't she used to screaming crowds?!'. She should be a pro at this, but the surprising fact is, she's not! When your life starts off as being an unwanted child, you quickly learn what it feels like to be unpopular. But her belief in the power of God and her endless possibilities quickly turned her into one of the most popular women of our times. She's adored by millions for not only her wisdom, but her authenticity and humility as well.
"Why are you here?", she asked. Most of us were there to be inspired, awakened, or just plain curious to see if we'd win a trip! Why was I there? Well for me, Oprah's words have so much credibility. As a global force and one of the most influential women ever, I was dying to hear what she had to say. And boy did she say a lot!
She shared her hardships as a young child, being bounced back from home to home; abused by family members. She let us in on her brief humiliation with the casting director of, 'The Color Purple'; confessed to checking into a fat farm; and that 2012 was a brutally challenging year for her. She put it all out there so we could relate to her sadness, embarrassments, setbacks. Just because she's 'Oprah' doesn't mean she doesn't have her own hardships.
She stood there, before a stadium crowd, and confessed that her mother still sees her only as a dollar sign. She also went on to say that she stopped wishing for her parents to be somebody else. Instead she has come to accept her parents for who they are. It was a very touching proclamation by a woman who most claim, "has it all".
I was deeply moved when she went on to explain how we're all alike. We hurt the same; our joys are the same. She realized that we all share the same feelings when, after every interview, her guests would ask, "Was that OK? How did I do?" She discovered that what people really wanted to know was, ' Did you hear me? Did you see me? Did what I say mean anything to you?' That yearning for validation, acceptance, approval is familiar to us all. It was actually comforting to hear that even those who exude self-confidence, are also looking for acceptance. We all want to be enough in our own eyes, as well as in the eyes of others. The red thread throughout Oprah's speech, for me, was self-love. When you can tune out your obnoxious ego and connect to your best Self, you'll hear life's message.
She went on to say many things I already heard or read, so I'm leaving you with a list of quotes that left their mark:

• On discovering your life purpose: "If you were to die tomorrow, people would eulogize your life and say all kinds of things about you. In the course of what they said, there would be a red thread connecting all the dots".
• On your beliefs: "Exam what you believe because you'll see how what you believe has really determined the space that you're living in today", and "Whatever follows 'I Am' will come looking for you".
• On co-creating your life: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"- Luke 6:31, and "Everything you do has already been done to you".
• On 2012 being a career low as her network failed in ratings: "Failure is life pushing us in a new direction".
• On your legacy: "Your legacy is everybody that you've ever touched"- Maya Angelou; also from Ms. Angelou is a quote that I personally want to share: "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel".
• On taking ownership: Be the "Master of my Fate; Captain of my Soul".
• On Psychics - the 3rd law of motion & your intention: "For every action (thought or feeling), there's an equal or opposite reaction. When we participate in the cause of something, we cannot escape its effect, or more importantly, the intention behind it".
• On your trials: "Trials force you to go deeper into more of who you are".
• On acceptance: "All stress and suffering is caused by wanting something to be what it isn't - Eckhart Tolley
• On the "thorn" (a recognizable pain(s) from childhood. Oprah's include abuse & rejection): When things happen in your life, that rub up against that old thorn ask, "What was my role in creating this?"
• On forgiveness: "Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the path couldn't be different".
• On connecting to the Source: "If you're not willing to take 2 minutes of stillness, you don't deserve to have a great life".
• On luck: Luck is meeting the moment of opportunity. Get yourself ready for your moment".
• On being open to receive: "Go through life with an open hand, rather than a clenched or resistant fist".
• On the power of your calling: "Let your deepest spiritual practice be gratitude". 

Every human being is looking for the same thing. We all live through the same emotions, but at different times. We all struggle, celebrate our joys, and grieve in same way. In short, my overview of my Oprah experience is this: accept what cannot be changed; let of go of what wasn't; identify your "thorn"; be aware of your intention; be prepared to meet your moment; believe in the unbelievable; be grateful for every experience; shift to serve others and remember..."The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are".
P.S. If you haven't already, I encourage you to read the poem she read called, 'Love After Love' (previous post).

Poem: LOVE AFTER LOVE

Oprah shared this poem with the audience last night at the Bell Center. Many of her words brought a lump to my throat, but it was only when she read this poem aloud, was I brought to tears.

A gift for you, my devoted readers.....


Love After Love


Image: kathylkidd.com

The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

-Derek Walcott


 

Enough is Enough

At what point are you able to walk away from criticism? How long before hearing your flaws on repeat, do you choose to tune out? When your barometer reading hits the "stormy" mark, do you run for shelter or get drenched by the sharp rain? How much bulls**** can you take?

If your thought pattern goes from negative to positive by listing your imperfections better than your competencies, or your failures faster than your successes, then I get you! I'm not celebrating the fact that at this time I can completely relate to this shitty feeling. In all honesty, I hate having the "enough" convo with my Ego, my chakras, God, and the Uni-verse. It kinda rolls out like this: I get verbally knocked down, bark back or shut up and repress my rebuttal, let the dust settle, and then I power talk. I pull out my imaginary bouquet of gerberas and with each proclamation of how amazing I am, I throw myself a flower (b/c if you don't tell yourself how fuckin' fantastic you are, no one will!).

I'm having one of those days when I feel exhausted to defend who I am. As the dust settles though, the bull**** starts to mentally absorb and almost becomes believable. Whoever said, "Don't think too hard, you might hurt yourself", is a genius. When you start to buy into your toxic thoughts, there's no denying that you'll be hurt. We also spend enough energy putting ourselves down, that we don't need someone else to highlight our shortcomings. Hey, last time I checked, I'm trying my best. On my journey, I packaged a lot of mistakes. Thanks to them, when I stumble, I can get up! While I don't appreciate people putting me down, I see how, almost natural, it is to judge. It's so easy for us to knock others down, because while we're busy faultfinding in others, we're not looking at ourselves.
I AM, who I AM, and you don't have to like me (although I prefer being liked). We always have choices, so I choose to let go of the critique. Every flower needs dirt to grow, and while I'm down here, I'm going to find my crack of sunlight.

A Night with Oprah

A week from today, I'll be sitting in the same room as the most influential women in the world, Oprah Winfrey (another bucket list check off)! There's no denying that she can single handily 'make or break' anything and anyone. Who would've ever imagined that an African American Woman would some day be the most powerful woman on the planet?!
She may have been raised in poverty (wearing potato sacs as dresses), however she was reading and writing by kindergarten! Oprah has lived through numerous hardships including giving birth to a child at age 14, who died 2 weeks later. She was also abused, from the tender age of 9, by family members. Knocking down every pylon in her way, she was determined for success. And although she "has it all", the only thing she can't seem to win over is the scale. Her fluctuating weight is almost a metaphor for the highs and lows she's lived through.
So, if you could ask Oprah Winfrey one question, what would it be? Of course, I have a few questions I'd love to ask her. Knowing that our bodies harbor lots of emotional clutter, my first question is related to her weight issues. For some people, their emotional 'stuff' develops into tumors or ulcers, while for others, it's sheltered in their body weight. Here's my question: "Oprah, you were physically abused as a child, as well as verbally and emotionally abused by your former boyfriends. Do you think your struggle with weight is hindered by deep, emotional scars related to self-love and self-compassion?"
I'd ask Oprah about her weight because it's hard to understand how this woman could be defeated by any challenge. As I know many who struggle with their weight, I could never clearly understand how Oprah hasn't conquered the scale to her satisfaction. It's gotta be emotional baggage, but then again, she's the poster child for expressing your emotions, so I'm so curious about that issue.
As well. I'm impressed with her global power and influence, but I'm fascinated with her childhood. She once claimed that she had chosen not to be a mother because she had not been mothered well. Oprah's mom discouraged her from reading books and refused to take her to the public library, which she loved.
So here's my question: Oprah, do you truly believe that a woman who wasn't mothered well, cannot be a good mother? If so, then please explain the following. You're mother disheartened your passion for reading, yet you continued to read, eventually creating 'Oprah's Book Club'. You proved that you know better than your mom did. The fact that you pursued your love for reading, against your mother's wishes, is ample justification that you're not a carbon copy of her. You're genetically connected, but you're your own person.
We certainly have a connection with our parents that we pass down to our children. However, I refuse to think that women who have been poorly raised, are most likely going to repeat history with their own children. I also believe that the foundation for raising any child is love. If a child isn't loved by their parents, it doesn't mean they'll never know how to love themselves. That's just my "wish I had my own talk show" moment.
Oprah, you're inspiring on my levels. Looking forward to an evening of awkening and learning, by the Big 'O'.

Twenty Seconds of Insane Courage

supported Vrschikasana pose

I'm back from my winter holidays. While I was away, I had committed to a 40-day personal meditation practice (which I failed to complete) and I had verbally committed to swimming lessons with my kids' teacher. First few times I saw him, I opted not to remind him. Then the weather got unpredictable, so I figured I was in the clear. Until my husband (who sometimes thinks he's my agent) asked if Frank had any free time while my kids would nap. Busted!

By 36 years old, learning how to swim has made every edited bucket list. My only attempt at swimming lessons failed when I felt my progress was too slow. I had accepted that the most I'd do in water is dip 'til the hip. So after eight lessons too many, I hung up my goggles, nose plug, and life belt! But after having two kids and a pool (obviously not my choice), I kinda felt swimming lessons were unavoidable.

Then the day I had hoped to avoid came and it was just me and Frank in 3 ft. of chlorine. He starts by telling me that having my head under water is meditation (had someone told me that after all these years, I'd be teaching underwater meditation today!). As I held my breath with my head under, I surrendered to the idea that water is calm if I'm calm. After my session, Frank told me I'd probably be swimming from shallow to deep water in five classes (that's it?!). To think, for all these years, I sat pool side admiring under water handstands, and now that can be me.

And while I was on my H2O high, I decided to attempt an advanced yoga pose that I've been admiring for months. After 2, "kick up, repeat", I got into a supported scorpion pose! I tell ya, fear is so crippling. We get so caught up in "what if" that we surrender our capability, confidence, and courage to fear. If you really think about it, learning how to swim or flipping over upside down is all about the first 20 seconds.  It takes just 20 seconds of insane courage to achieve what you believed was impossible. Don't be the poolside admirer anymore. Be afraid, but attempt it anyway. If you're stuck in 'status quo', you'll never know, what it feels like to grow. Twenty seconds.....what are you waiting for?