There will come a day when you will be able to read this letter. As Mother's Day approaches, I wanted to honour this occasion by giving you the gift of my written words. Soon you'll be 5 years old, which confirms that time doesn't come with a pause app.
When you were born, my dear friend, Mary Ann, gave me a book entitled, 'I Was a Really Good Mom Before I had Kids'. Right there, at the Jewish General Hospital, the Universe saw the future! The title of that book was so telling, it revealed my maternal challenges in waiting. I'll admit, you were a good sleeper (thank God); you weren't a fussy eater (yipee); you were a dream jet setter (Amen) - BUT boy, were you ever active! Before you could walk, you wanted to fly. I still think that if you don't become the next Barbara Walters, you'll be the main attraction in a Cirque du Soeil production.
Looking back at my high school years, I clearly recall Nancy's mom telling me I'd one day be a reporter! I loved (still do) hearing myself talk before large audiences. Like me, you've been blessed with the 'gift-of-gab'. Although, most days, my tone hits a high pitch with a hint of anger, you know how to revert me back to 4 years old!
You see Chloe, you're my mirror, so whenever you show me something I don't like about myself, I get irritated. There's no doubt that you're my most treasured teacher. No one pokes at my inner child as often as you do. Yet amidst the verbal chaos, the highlight of my day comes when I tuck you in bed and you recite how much you love me: "I love you like the sky, the moon, the stars, the rainbows, the butterflies, the grass, the flowers, the water, the whole Universe". Sometimes you even include the wallpaper in your room, lip gloss, and a pack of gum!
There are days when I wonder why you picked me to be your Mommy. Then I remember my childhood and how scared I was of whatever I couldn't control. Whether it was the ocean, flying, amusement rides, or even dogs, they all made me feel anxious. But not you Chloe. You instead have this impulsive attitude that gets a rush out of fearful circumstances. You're likely to ride the heart pounding rollercoaster at the fair, dive into the deep end of the pool and celebrate a bumpy airplane landing!! I have no idea how YOU came outta ME. May be you picked me as your Mommy because you have so much to teach me.
So on my fourth Mother's Day, I'm reminded of how blessed I am to have you in my life. You're a committed big sister, who eagerly mentors your little brother to be daring. And though we learn from eachother, I admire your perseverance to get what you want. I believe you'll always be like a firework - bright, dramatic, and bursting with awe, awe, awe! May you forever be stimulated while 'interviewing' others, tempted by adventure, and compassionate towards yourself. Thank you for your daily teachings of patience, acceptance, love and deep breathing.
Love you to the moon and back,
Mommy Marisa
