Life Lessons Underwater

Swimming towards swim/life coach Frank

When I was a little girl, I'd stare at the ocean with fearful eyes, wondering what lived beneath. I'd look at the waves with knots in my belly. I believed that a wave would knock me down and I'd be a shark's dinner. It all began when my mom expressed her fear of water. I concluded that if my mom was afraid, than I should be too. So in 36 years, a million pools, and countless beaches, I merely dipped 'til my waistline. I'd sit along the shore amazed at all the children much younger than I, anxiously awaiting the next big wave. I let fear get the best of me, accepting that I'd never swim. I had children; we built a pool; fear dominated. But not anymore. This summer, I packed some courage on my trip to Florida. I was determined to prevail over years of inhibiting 'what if' scenarios.
My first swim lesson started with my 70 year old instructor, Frank, telling me I'd be doing laps in the pool before the end of my vacation. He didn't lie, nor did he ever give me false hope. When I'd panic mid swim, he'd remind me in a calm tone, to get out of my head. Before every swim, he'd repeat, "It's all about breath control." Ain't that the truth, Frank! My breath is what got me into the pool in the first place. Calming my mind and body tops my daily 'to do' list. Credit goes to my years of yoga practice for making me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable place. For me, being underwater was equivalent to being suffocated by a pillow. Swimming would only be possible once I'd be able to ignore the mental sabotage of possibly drowning. I'd start with a deep exhalation to calm down, then take a big air and 'crawl' to the end of the pool. I've never realized a more liberating experience as swimming underwater. Damn my bullshit thoughts for making me miss out on all the beauty that lives in the ocean!
All these years, I thought I was missing guts, but what I was really missing was trust - in the unknown, in myself. It's so easy to convince ourselves of what we can't achieve. We just buy into nonsensical thoughts that we won't succeed, accept it as the truth, and let it be. Learning how to swim is a lot like the process of life. You take a deep breath and go slow - can't skip a step. You won't learn everything in one lesson. You have to trust, believe, and flow with what you've got. Wise Frank told me that you know you've hit a milestone when you mess up (swallow water or skip a new breath), but you still finish your swim. That statement is powerful beyond the pool or my yoga mat. When the Universe throws you lemons and you make a margarita - you're in the flow. It's when we resist what is present to us that we hinder our progress, thus stalling what we're meant to be living. It took almost four decades of stalling for me to finally move underwater. I'm proof that it's never too late to conquer a fear. I spent years tangled in my ego's web, worried that I'd be ridiculed for not knowing how to swim. Now, with my cutting edge Speedo goggles, lean body and long arms, I look like I can take on Missy Franklin ;). This time I'm convincing myself that I can!