I read these words every single time I scan through my images folder of inspiration. I stop. Read the statement. Think. Then I move on to the next image. Today though, I want to share this very powerful question with you. Have you ever asked yourself this? I haven't....until I read it.
There are days when I read this and think, "not today". And then there are times after I finish teaching a yoga class, where I was fully committed to the students, and say, "hell ya"! I noticed that I feel like a rockstar when I connect to my best Self; when I feel passionate to serve others. I don't need to hear 'thank you' because I can feel the gratitude of those I helped. But within 24 hours, I can go from being an amazing human being, to a bitchy wife, to a compassionate friend, to a screaming mom. Wtf?! I'm not bi-polar, don't have multiple personalities (although sometimes I wonder ;)), yet if you interviewed 10 people about me, you'd get scattered perceptions.
My husband would highlight my disinterest in our finances (aka irresponsible), my mom would be my cheerleader because, after all, she made me (aka reflection of her), my students would say I make them feel good about who they are (aka inspiring), the children I teach would say I'm just like them (aka still a child), my accountant would say I'm clueless (aka passive), my close friend would say, I know my flaws (aka honest), my old friend would say it's all about me (aka self-absorbed), my mentor and former boss, Lou Adler, would say I was devoted to the brand (aka passionate), my last boss would say, I was a bull in a china shop (aka achiever), and my daughter Chloe would say, I yell a lot (aka frustrated). Y'all should try this little assignment. It's quite an eye opener.
You realize how different you are to others. The people I'm closest to, like my family, get the raw Marisa, with all my flaws, impatience, and attitude. But they also get some nurturing, compassion, and tolerance. Ya, they don't get the best me most of the time. Why is that? Well perhaps it's because I know they're not going anywhere, so I don't feel the need to please them. However, the other people (we'll call them the clouds, since they're just passing through) are the ones I want to leave my mark on. I want them to love me, be afraid of me, or look up to me. I just want them to remember me no matter what influence I may have had on them. Being memorable, apparently, is important to me (my 'AHA' moment of the day).
My family will never throw me to the curb (although I'm sure my husband has thought about it a few times lol). We're connected and we accept the good shit, as well as the bullshit, within each one of us. The important thing is to not get stuck on what I think others think about me. Here's what's echoing in the background: "don't get confused between what people say you are and who you know you are". I definitely hit the 'identity crisis' button when I feel emotionally derailed. But if I start to think, then I start believing my thoughts to be the truth of who I am. That's when it gets dangerous. My solution to get back on track is to sit, stop, meditate; to look for God within me. God, the Source, the Spirit, whatever name you want to give it, it exists in every single one of us. When we're not connected to that Source, we're not living our best lives.
This brilliant quote will set you free: "MUCH SUFFERING, MUCH UNHAPPINESS ARISES WHEN YOU TAKE EACH THOUGHT THAT COMES INTO YOUR HEAD FOR THE TRUTH" -Eckhart Tolle
I can have my perception of what 10 individuals think of me, but the only one that's true, is the understanding I have of myself. Knowing when I'm being blinded by my Ego or when I'm being guided by God, is the connection to my truth, and your truth as well.
I hope you grow a little stronger from this post, the way I have. I also hope you recognize what you don't like about yourself and own it. Only then can you start to become more of the YOU, you need to be. May you find the truth within you.
xo
