stikrz.etsy.com |
When it came to my work history, I was attracted to leaders that got their high from belittling their staff. As a result of my unhealthy work environments, I became so jaded by ambition, that I looked down at those who lacked the same drive. When I finally landed a management title, I completely lost my sensitivity chip and became a whip-cracking ringleader.
So when my friend mentioned the hurtful choice of words her boss spoke, a sense of shame came over me. There were numerous incidents whereby my poor choice of words left my department discouraged. I was on such a power trip, my ego could barely fit through the head office doors. How did I get so nasty?
Looking back, I believe we become a product of our environment. Where I came from, yelling and swearing, from my former bosses, was common. They used their authority as an intimidation tool. Though I always hated the days I got s*** on, when I became a Manager, I certainly didn't acknowledge my insensitive behavior.
During a workshop at the Yoga Conference, we were asked us to share memories of inspiring mentors. As I talked about my 3rd grade teacher Miss Rita, and my former boss (he was a good one!), Lou Adler, I had a revelation. The two people who truly left a lasting mark on my life, shared the same core values. They were both compassionate, kind, giving and supportive. I was drawn to their kindheartedness and humility, yet it took me this long to see that I didn't lead by those life principles.
Since I believe it's never too late, I hope this post can help leaders commit to elevating their human relations skills. The key criteria of a strong leader is to encourage personal growth that'll, in turn, motivate and inspire people. Respectful communication is essential in building solid relationships with others. If you act like the mentor you admired from the past, you'll be held in high esteem by your staff.
In Anusara yoga, we're taught 'The 4 Gates of Speech'. Before speaking, we're asked to examine our words by asking ourselves the following questions:
Is it truthful? If not, we stop right there.
Is it necessary to say?
Is it the appropriate time?
Can it be said in a kind way?
We don't need to be bosses to stop and ask ourselves these questions regularly. In doing so though, our relationship with ourselves, as well as with others, will prosper. In the end, all that's recognized is our reputation and integrity in defining moments.