Enough is Enough

At what point are you able to walk away from criticism? How long before hearing your flaws on repeat, do you choose to tune out? When your barometer reading hits the "stormy" mark, do you run for shelter or get drenched by the sharp rain? How much bulls**** can you take?

If your thought pattern goes from negative to positive by listing your imperfections better than your competencies, or your failures faster than your successes, then I get you! I'm not celebrating the fact that at this time I can completely relate to this shitty feeling. In all honesty, I hate having the "enough" convo with my Ego, my chakras, God, and the Uni-verse. It kinda rolls out like this: I get verbally knocked down, bark back or shut up and repress my rebuttal, let the dust settle, and then I power talk. I pull out my imaginary bouquet of gerberas and with each proclamation of how amazing I am, I throw myself a flower (b/c if you don't tell yourself how fuckin' fantastic you are, no one will!).

I'm having one of those days when I feel exhausted to defend who I am. As the dust settles though, the bull**** starts to mentally absorb and almost becomes believable. Whoever said, "Don't think too hard, you might hurt yourself", is a genius. When you start to buy into your toxic thoughts, there's no denying that you'll be hurt. We also spend enough energy putting ourselves down, that we don't need someone else to highlight our shortcomings. Hey, last time I checked, I'm trying my best. On my journey, I packaged a lot of mistakes. Thanks to them, when I stumble, I can get up! While I don't appreciate people putting me down, I see how, almost natural, it is to judge. It's so easy for us to knock others down, because while we're busy faultfinding in others, we're not looking at ourselves.
I AM, who I AM, and you don't have to like me (although I prefer being liked). We always have choices, so I choose to let go of the critique. Every flower needs dirt to grow, and while I'm down here, I'm going to find my crack of sunlight.

A Night with Oprah

A week from today, I'll be sitting in the same room as the most influential women in the world, Oprah Winfrey (another bucket list check off)! There's no denying that she can single handily 'make or break' anything and anyone. Who would've ever imagined that an African American Woman would some day be the most powerful woman on the planet?!
She may have been raised in poverty (wearing potato sacs as dresses), however she was reading and writing by kindergarten! Oprah has lived through numerous hardships including giving birth to a child at age 14, who died 2 weeks later. She was also abused, from the tender age of 9, by family members. Knocking down every pylon in her way, she was determined for success. And although she "has it all", the only thing she can't seem to win over is the scale. Her fluctuating weight is almost a metaphor for the highs and lows she's lived through.
So, if you could ask Oprah Winfrey one question, what would it be? Of course, I have a few questions I'd love to ask her. Knowing that our bodies harbor lots of emotional clutter, my first question is related to her weight issues. For some people, their emotional 'stuff' develops into tumors or ulcers, while for others, it's sheltered in their body weight. Here's my question: "Oprah, you were physically abused as a child, as well as verbally and emotionally abused by your former boyfriends. Do you think your struggle with weight is hindered by deep, emotional scars related to self-love and self-compassion?"
I'd ask Oprah about her weight because it's hard to understand how this woman could be defeated by any challenge. As I know many who struggle with their weight, I could never clearly understand how Oprah hasn't conquered the scale to her satisfaction. It's gotta be emotional baggage, but then again, she's the poster child for expressing your emotions, so I'm so curious about that issue.
As well. I'm impressed with her global power and influence, but I'm fascinated with her childhood. She once claimed that she had chosen not to be a mother because she had not been mothered well. Oprah's mom discouraged her from reading books and refused to take her to the public library, which she loved.
So here's my question: Oprah, do you truly believe that a woman who wasn't mothered well, cannot be a good mother? If so, then please explain the following. You're mother disheartened your passion for reading, yet you continued to read, eventually creating 'Oprah's Book Club'. You proved that you know better than your mom did. The fact that you pursued your love for reading, against your mother's wishes, is ample justification that you're not a carbon copy of her. You're genetically connected, but you're your own person.
We certainly have a connection with our parents that we pass down to our children. However, I refuse to think that women who have been poorly raised, are most likely going to repeat history with their own children. I also believe that the foundation for raising any child is love. If a child isn't loved by their parents, it doesn't mean they'll never know how to love themselves. That's just my "wish I had my own talk show" moment.
Oprah, you're inspiring on my levels. Looking forward to an evening of awkening and learning, by the Big 'O'.

Twenty Seconds of Insane Courage

supported Vrschikasana pose

I'm back from my winter holidays. While I was away, I had committed to a 40-day personal meditation practice (which I failed to complete) and I had verbally committed to swimming lessons with my kids' teacher. First few times I saw him, I opted not to remind him. Then the weather got unpredictable, so I figured I was in the clear. Until my husband (who sometimes thinks he's my agent) asked if Frank had any free time while my kids would nap. Busted!

By 36 years old, learning how to swim has made every edited bucket list. My only attempt at swimming lessons failed when I felt my progress was too slow. I had accepted that the most I'd do in water is dip 'til the hip. So after eight lessons too many, I hung up my goggles, nose plug, and life belt! But after having two kids and a pool (obviously not my choice), I kinda felt swimming lessons were unavoidable.

Then the day I had hoped to avoid came and it was just me and Frank in 3 ft. of chlorine. He starts by telling me that having my head under water is meditation (had someone told me that after all these years, I'd be teaching underwater meditation today!). As I held my breath with my head under, I surrendered to the idea that water is calm if I'm calm. After my session, Frank told me I'd probably be swimming from shallow to deep water in five classes (that's it?!). To think, for all these years, I sat pool side admiring under water handstands, and now that can be me.

And while I was on my H2O high, I decided to attempt an advanced yoga pose that I've been admiring for months. After 2, "kick up, repeat", I got into a supported scorpion pose! I tell ya, fear is so crippling. We get so caught up in "what if" that we surrender our capability, confidence, and courage to fear. If you really think about it, learning how to swim or flipping over upside down is all about the first 20 seconds.  It takes just 20 seconds of insane courage to achieve what you believed was impossible. Don't be the poolside admirer anymore. Be afraid, but attempt it anyway. If you're stuck in 'status quo', you'll never know, what it feels like to grow. Twenty seconds.....what are you waiting for?

Do You Believe in Magic?

Magic: art of producing a desired effect. Guess what? We all have magic within us. Every time we shine, it's actually our sparkle making it possible. Shine your light now. Make magical moments manifest.

Top 10 ways to Manifest Magic

#1. It's not about how you look, it's about how you see.

#2. When in doubt, let your lips do the sparkling.

#3. Offer your magic when you least feel like it.

#4. Share your magic and you'll get magic back.
 



#5. See magic in everything.

#6. Believe there's always a magical rainbow after the storm.

#7. Kill all negative thoughts with a sparkly stiletto.

#8. Be mindful of your magic - it matters.

#9. Don't die with your magic still in you.

#10. If you don't believe in your magic, no one else will.

*All images courtesy of tumblr ohmygodglitter



















And the Oscar goes to....

I couldn't resist posting today. I'm in the midst of "de-cluttering" (get rid of the old, to make room for new). Holy crap, I'm a borderline paper hoarder! I realized that I'm slightly addicted to information. I read, read, read, repeat, read, buy more books, magazines to read, and read. My brain is overloaded with information!! HELP! I need a mental detox ASAP.
For some unknown reason, I feel mentally unfulfilled if I don't read at least one article a day. If you think my library of books, magazines, and tear sheets is insane, I'm afraid to confess to the ridiculous number of self-help, spiritual, yoga e-letters that are loaded in my inbox. To add to my virtual clutter, I follow another ridiculous amount of yogis, holistic coaches, spiritual healers on Facebook. Yikes! Intervention time.


My brain on info-overload

Ok, so I love to read short stories about yoga, health, and wellness. Noted. But how much of what I'm reading am I actually absorbing? To be completely transparent, I have read fear-facing write ups, to Oprah's 'What I know for sure', to learning how to meditate, to fulfilling your destiny, to.....you get my point. As I'm slowly transitioning into my new career, I can't help but compare myself to the soft-speaking, macrobiotic eating, kirtan dancing, self-healers. I believe that their journey has more depth than mine; that they're so self-actualized, they wouldn't harm an ant! I, on the other hand, am a loud talker, meat eating, fly squatting pro, who turns to alternative anything to self-heal. I feel like I'm trying to win the Oscar for 'best actress in an adapted screenplay'.
When I wake up in the morning, I'm on a mission to make this day count more than yesterday. I review my 'to do' list (makes me feel productive), read my e-letters, check in with my Facebook gurus for inspiration, so by the time noon comes around, my head is too heavy to sit in meditation. I have so much information to decipher and mentally compartmentalize that I actually forget half the crap I read!
Bottom line: I already know all this stuff! You know it too. We all know what we could be doing to lead a more meaningful life (start by starring in your own original screenplay). We all have the answers we need and when we can't seem to find them, they somehow appear. When you're committing to something fully, the Universe gives you what you need to succeed. In my case, I seem to prefer to be distracted with info overload as an excuse to progress. By convincing myself that this spiritual lifestyle is foreign to me, I limit my capabilities. I play it safe to avoid failing, and in turn, I'm simply stunting my growth.
When we set our performance barre so high, we're subconsciously sabotaging our ability to succeed. It's time to start with a clean slate. First 'to do': Stop hiding behind other people's stories and experiences, so I can create my own authentic story (Oscar moment). Second 'to do': Embrace my vulnerability rather than allow it to fabricate obstacles, make excuses, procrastinate. Third 'to do': Let it be. So I don't have all the philosophical theories figured out. That has no relevance on my personal growth. I read, read, read, hoping to find comfort from others afflictions and inspiration in others achievements. I know my truth, and that's enough! I know that when you lead from your heart, you can never get lost. All that informative noise is just clouding my path. My heart will always be my dependable source for authentic joy. Insecurities, uncertainties, wonderment will always roam in my mind, but it's believing in my ability to do amazing things that makes the difference. It all goes right back to the source of self-love, self-acceptance, and affirming your amazingness to YOURSELF. Let the journey to your Oscar moment be exhaustively inspiring and obnoxiously smothered in love!

Be Your Valentine

 

 

Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of how kickass amazing we are. 

Press PLAY to repeat these words to yourself in the mirror everyday.

Press REWIND on the days you need more reminding.

Press PAUSE when you know you just got even better.

 

Spread the LOVE!

xo

I might Change your Life

Open hips + open heart = Open Mind

I might change your life. I might change your thoughts. I might change your opinion. I might change your mood. You're reading this post because I got what you need right now. You need to chill out, smile, take a deep inhalation, and now exhale the bullshit that's suffocating your spirit.
We're so busy listening to all the noise around us, that we forget to tune in. Never mind their story, their problem, their negativity - that shit will just weigh you down (and we don't need extra calories)!
Today is the day you throw on your old school Adidas jacket, wild leggings, and get out of your comfort zone. Sometimes, you just gotta step outside, get some fresh air, and remind yourself of who you are and who you want to be.
Every minute that passes you have a choice. You can choose to start over again at any time. You can choose to smile, to cry, to beat yourself up, or to move forward. We've all wiped out (blame it on the lack of salt on our sidewalks), but do you fall down or stay down? Get up. Dust yourself off because somewhere, someone doesn't have that choice. Be grateful that you have that choice today. And when life throws you lemons, be grateful for the people that planted, nurtured, and picked those lemons. For every lemon that squirts in your face, that's the Universe telling you that's what you need.
Be open to what life is offering you right now and choose whether to be happy or not. But happiness is not a destination. Happiness is happening right now, if you choose to let it live within you. Remember you always have a choice. Choose to be open to receive whatever you're given at this time. Accept every circumstance and learn from each experience. So next time you fall down, please get up and grow!