For some unknown reason, I feel mentally unfulfilled if I don't read at least one article a day. If you think my library of books, magazines, and tear sheets is insane, I'm afraid to confess to the ridiculous number of self-help, spiritual, yoga e-letters that are loaded in my inbox. To add to my virtual clutter, I follow another ridiculous amount of yogis, holistic coaches, spiritual healers on Facebook. Yikes! Intervention time.
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| My brain on info-overload |
Ok, so I love to read short stories about yoga, health, and wellness. Noted. But how much of what I'm reading am I actually absorbing? To be completely transparent, I have read fear-facing write ups, to Oprah's 'What I know for sure', to learning how to meditate, to fulfilling your destiny, to.....you get my point. As I'm slowly transitioning into my new career, I can't help but compare myself to the soft-speaking, macrobiotic eating, kirtan dancing, self-healers. I believe that their journey has more depth than mine; that they're so self-actualized, they wouldn't harm an ant! I, on the other hand, am a loud talker, meat eating, fly squatting pro, who turns to alternative anything to self-heal. I feel like I'm trying to win the Oscar for 'best actress in an adapted screenplay'.
When I wake up in the morning, I'm on a mission to make this day count more than yesterday. I review my 'to do' list (makes me feel productive), read my e-letters, check in with my Facebook gurus for inspiration, so by the time noon comes around, my head is too heavy to sit in meditation. I have so much information to decipher and mentally compartmentalize that I actually forget half the crap I read!
Bottom line: I already know all this stuff! You know it too. We all know what we could be doing to lead a more meaningful life (start by starring in your own original screenplay). We all have the answers we need and when we can't seem to find them, they somehow appear. When you're committing to something fully, the Universe gives you what you need to succeed. In my case, I seem to prefer to be distracted with info overload as an excuse to progress. By convincing myself that this spiritual lifestyle is foreign to me, I limit my capabilities. I play it safe to avoid failing, and in turn, I'm simply stunting my growth.
When we set our performance barre so high, we're subconsciously sabotaging our ability to succeed. It's time to start with a clean slate. First 'to do': Stop hiding behind other people's stories and experiences, so I can create my own authentic story (Oscar moment). Second 'to do': Embrace my vulnerability rather than allow it to fabricate obstacles, make excuses, procrastinate. Third 'to do': Let it be. So I don't have all the philosophical theories figured out. That has no relevance on my personal growth. I read, read, read, hoping to find comfort from others afflictions and inspiration in others achievements. I know my truth, and that's enough! I know that when you lead from your heart, you can never get lost. All that informative noise is just clouding my path. My heart will always be my dependable source for authentic joy. Insecurities, uncertainties, wonderment will always roam in my mind, but it's believing in my ability to do amazing things that makes the difference. It all goes right back to the source of self-love, self-acceptance, and affirming your amazingness to YOURSELF. Let the journey to your Oscar moment be exhaustively inspiring and obnoxiously smothered in love!
