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| No Filter |
Wrapping up 2017 with a massive bow and permanent adhesive! What a
year it has been. Today marks the last New Moon of the year. This is a perfect
opportunity to glance back to see how far you've journeyed, how much you've
grown, and how many lessons you've learned in its unfolding. I think it's fair
to say that collectively, it hasn't been the easiest year. Again, we were
reminded that we can do hard things.
This year challenged our
morals, our faith, our trust, our beliefs. It was the year of awakening for
many. For me, I tapped into a suppressed desire for the truth. Although truth
telling is part of my daily practice, it's far from being easy. In a society
where social sharing is a new norm, I often wonder - have we gone from
filtering our photos to filtering the parts of ourselves we'd rather hide? Are
we mostly pretending that motherhood is THE best, that our partners are our
soul mates, that we have the ultimate career, and that we have it all under
control? Yes, I think we aren’t exposing the real truth. It’s OK to keep your
life private, just don’t put a bow on BS. I know moms who are overwhelmed with the job
title, but still bake the cookies to maintain the image. I’ve heard more
stories about marriages falling apart this year than ever before. Most
recently, my response was, "Impossible! They’re so in love on Facebook."
This year we've been forced to reveal the truth. From abuse, to lies, to
infidelity, to grief, we've all been touched by one of these ugly truths. For
me personally, this has been a year of tremendous growth and insight. I finally
reached a point where verbal abuse became a deal breaker. I also dug deep
through old wounds to get to a place of self-acceptance.
If this year bitch slapped you
with pain, I feel you. It takes a great deal of self-love to get through the
messy moments. I wonder – is the truth teaching us to love ourselves enough to
recognize right from wrong? Maybe we're realizing that it's OK if we're not the
#familygoals, #couplegoals, #momgoals we think we should be. Maybe
it's time for new #goals such as, #ilovemyself, #igotthis, #icandohardthings.
Maybe we've reached a fork in the road where we're asked to either follow our
heart or follow the rules. Maybe 2017 was all about loving yourself first, so
that you don’t have to pretend it’s all beautiful. You don't have to be challenged
in relationships for this to apply to you. This is relevant for anyone stuck in
an unfulfilling job, or a new parent struggling with the new reality of who
they are, or anyone suffering from crippling anxiety. The truth is that you’ll
only feel joy when you love ALL the parts of yourself....the ugly ones too. And
when you truly love yourself, you won't stand for verbal abuse, chase your
unfaithful partner, believe the "what if" stories, nor will you be
tempted towards avoidance, escapism, addiction. You won't allow any of it
because you are un-becoming the person you've been after all the stories,
labels, hashtags. This is your year-end review. You may be called to bury your old
self, old patterns, or an old wound. In my case, I’m burying a limiting belief
that being needed and being loved are the same. I believed that if I wasn't
needed, I wouldn’t be loved. Here’s a dirty truth. My husband would often tell
me that he didn't need me. Grateful for the wound because although it was hurtful
to hear, it’s the truth. He doesn't need me. No one needs anyone.
Needing people keeps us attached to this illusion that we're incomplete or
incapable of experiencing life on our own.
Dear Husband,
You were right all along. You
don't need me.
Thank you for taking the
pressure off.
Love,
My best self
Your turn. What are you burying this year? What limiting belief
are you letting go of? What truth are you admitting to yourself? What have your
2017 experiences taught you? Is there any area in your life calling for
transformation? What are your deep emotions telling you?
As Jay-Z said, "What you
reveal, you heal." This is your
rebirth. You've been given what you need to rise up. You’ve been preparing for
this moment for lifetimes. If I learned anything on my iphone this year, it’s
that there's no filter that can enhance a fake life. We’re all walking each other
home, so let's keep it honest. When I’m fighting with the truth, I ask the Universe
to show me the way, bring me the right people for guidance, give me the tools
to help me see clearly, and my latest request is to be given what I NEED not
what I WANT.
Warning: you may take two steps back and feel stuck. The Universe
will hold you back if you're not ready. Sometimes you have to experience what
you don’t want, to understand what you do want.
Life is an experience. Surrender to the ups and downs. Remember
that where you're headed is much more important than what you've left behind. Travel
light and let the truth lead you into 2018.
