Bullied through middle school for being chubby, Robin Williams discovered humor as a means to gain respect from his tormentors. He also used his jokes to entertain his mother so she would pay attention to him. Having two children myself, nothing brings them more joy than my undivided attention. So how badly wounded was this iconic actor and comedian to have hung himself?
He was adored the world over, with memorable roles, quick wit, and kind smile. He had to have known how loved he was. But did he love himself as much as we loved him? Guess not. The irony of it all is how he recovered from open heart surgery, but was killed by his brain. No one will ever know what his self-talk sounded like. Most of us aren’t aware of our mental repeat mode we tune into every day.
Robin Williams’ death has made me redefine my choice of words. The words that run through my head will have a new spin. And rather than speaking fast-paced without reflection, I will make a conscious effort to avoid using hurtful, unloving words. Somewhere in his lifetime, Robin was told mean things that stuck. Later in life, he was probably spoken to with more admiration than not, however, the ugly stuck and stayed.
What we tell ourselves every minute has an impact on our wellbeing. The words we choose, during heated times, are impactful. And the repeated negative statements we tell our children will grow within them. We are responsible for planting seeds of love and hate within ourselves and our children. Choose whether you want to grow a nurturing garden or weeds.
Remember that you are perfect just the way you are. You might believe that you will be perfect ten pounds lighter, with accolades decorating your office, or by being present for your children, spouse, and boss equally. In my view, perfection is merely a balance between all our blessings and our flaws. Without weaknesses, there’s no growth. And what a dull life you’d have without improvement.
The suicide of Robin Williams has brought deep reflection to my brain power. He has validated a fact that our thoughts command the human body. To have lived with a passion to move the human spirit through laughter, while struggling with self-love, is selfless. I am forever grateful for his many roles in which he made me reflect, learn, and of course, laugh.
May your self-talk be kind and your words be rooted in love. May you be happy just the way you are. Nanu-Nanu!
