Would you Like you, if you Met you?

I read these words every single time I scan through my images folder of inspiration. I stop. Read the statement. Think. Then I move on to the next image. Today though, I want to share this very powerful question with you. Have you ever asked yourself this? I haven't....until I read it.
There are days when I read this and think, "not today". And then there are times after I finish teaching a yoga class, where I was fully committed to the students, and say, "hell ya"! I noticed that I feel like a rockstar when I connect to my best Self; when I feel passionate to serve others. I don't need to hear 'thank you' because I can feel the gratitude of those I helped. But within 24 hours, I can go from being an amazing human being, to a bitchy wife, to a compassionate friend, to a screaming mom. Wtf?! I'm not bi-polar, don't have multiple personalities (although sometimes I wonder ;)), yet if you interviewed 10 people about me, you'd get scattered perceptions.
My husband would highlight my disinterest in our finances (aka irresponsible), my mom would be my cheerleader because, after all, she made me (aka reflection of her), my students would say I make them feel good about who they are (aka inspiring), the children I teach would say I'm just like them (aka still a child), my accountant would say I'm clueless (aka passive), my close friend would say, I know my flaws (aka honest), my old friend would say it's all about me (aka self-absorbed), my mentor and former boss, Lou Adler, would say I was devoted to the brand (aka passionate), my last boss would say, I was a bull in a china shop (aka achiever), and my daughter Chloe would say, I yell a lot (aka frustrated). Y'all should try this little assignment. It's quite an eye opener.
You realize how different you are to others. The people I'm closest to, like my family, get the raw Marisa, with all my flaws, impatience, and attitude. But they also get some nurturing, compassion, and tolerance. Ya, they don't get the best me most of the time. Why is that? Well perhaps it's because I know they're not going anywhere, so I don't feel the need to please them. However, the other people (we'll call them the clouds, since they're just passing through) are the ones I want to leave my mark on. I want them to love me, be afraid of me, or look up to me. I just want them to remember me no matter what influence I may have had on them. Being memorable, apparently, is important to me (my 'AHA' moment of the day).
My family will never throw me to the curb (although I'm sure my husband has thought about it a few times lol). We're connected and we accept the good shit, as well as the bullshit, within each one of us. The important thing is to not get stuck on what I think others think about me. Here's what's echoing in the background: "don't get confused between what people say you are and who you know you are". I definitely hit the 'identity crisis' button when I feel emotionally derailed. But if I start to think, then I start believing my thoughts to be the truth of who I am. That's when it gets dangerous. My solution to get back on track is to sit, stop, meditate; to look for God within me. God, the Source, the Spirit, whatever name you want to give it, it exists in every single one of us. When we're not connected to that Source, we're not living our best lives.
This brilliant quote will set you free: "MUCH SUFFERING, MUCH UNHAPPINESS ARISES WHEN YOU TAKE EACH THOUGHT THAT COMES INTO YOUR HEAD FOR THE TRUTH" -Eckhart Tolle
I can have my perception of what 10 individuals think of me, but the only one that's true, is the understanding I have of myself. Knowing when I'm being blinded by my Ego or when I'm being guided by God, is the connection to my truth, and your truth as well.
I hope you grow a little stronger from this post, the way I have. I also hope you recognize what you don't like about yourself and own it. Only then can you start to become more of the YOU, you need to be. May you find the truth within you.
xo

Touch your Heart, Not your Toes

Chloe (4 yrs.old) in paschimottanasana pose

I've been teaching yoga consistently for a year now. In every class, I express my personal thoughts, ideas, experiences. I'd say my signature style is delivering a complete mind-body-spirit experience by weaving spiritual messages throughout the class.
I admit that I often think most of my students tune me out after the first 'OM'. Clearly they can all hear me, but I wonder if they're listening. And when one student leaves half way through the class or skips out on savasana, I wonder if my words made them uncomfortable.
I still remember my first yoga workshop with Seane Corn, as though it was yesterday. It was a detox flow that not only wrung out the physical toxins in our bodies, but the emotional ones too. I'd be holding a pose and then, through her deep words, she'd trigger an unhealed emotional wound, bringing me to tears. That was the first time I ever experienced the true meaning of yoga.
A few weeks ago, a student told me she had injured her ankle over the week-end. She had been accustomed to ankle/foot injuries, so she'd practice anyway. Before I could attribute a physical activity as the trigger for the sprain, she admits that every time there are big changes in her life, she hurts her ankle. Now I'm no Dr. Oz, but I do know a bit about the messages our bodies send us. It's obvious that change awakens her fears. By injuring the joint that allows movement, she can't go very far, which symbolically means she won't have to live through her fear just yet.
Then last week, she sees me after class and confesses that she always cries at the end of my closing sermon, but this week, she didn't. She seemed so relieved as she was telling me that she'd breakdown  when I would talk about self-love. The fact that she didn't cry this time, meant that she's beginning to believe in the depth and power of loving yourself.
Not only does she listen to my words, and is touched by them, but she's also receptive to the idea of facing change. She's still showing up to class, working with the pain, rather than opting for the fear to get comfortable. It's thanks to these firework occasions that I love yoga. Your mat will always be there to catch your fall. Your body will be so grateful for every asana, that it'll nudge your spirit to tune in too. I always say yoga holds up a mirror, however, "what we see depends mainly on what we look for".
Yoga isn't about wrapping your leg behind your ear; balancing on your head without hands, or touching your toes. Yoga is about tuning in, listening, connecting to your best self. Whether it's a 30, 60 or 120 minute class, if you're connected to your breath throughout, you're living yoga. It is trough riding my magic mat that I continue to grow by flowing with life's challenges, rather than going against them. Now, sit in a comfortable position, connect to your breath and flow (screw your toes, they're too far anyways)!

OPRAH: A Whisper on the Breath of God

Image: lapresse.ca

It's been over a week since Montreal welcomed Oprah Winfrey, yet her words still seem to echo out of the Bell Centre. It seemed surreal. Magical. Almost impossible. Little me, among 15,000 people, in the same room with Oprah. When she came on stage, we roared like a Habs Stanley Cup win. And to that welcome, she took a deep breath, paused, absorbed the love, and cried. Now I'm thinking, 'Isn't she used to screaming crowds?!'. She should be a pro at this, but the surprising fact is, she's not! When your life starts off as being an unwanted child, you quickly learn what it feels like to be unpopular. But her belief in the power of God and her endless possibilities quickly turned her into one of the most popular women of our times. She's adored by millions for not only her wisdom, but her authenticity and humility as well.
"Why are you here?", she asked. Most of us were there to be inspired, awakened, or just plain curious to see if we'd win a trip! Why was I there? Well for me, Oprah's words have so much credibility. As a global force and one of the most influential women ever, I was dying to hear what she had to say. And boy did she say a lot!
She shared her hardships as a young child, being bounced back from home to home; abused by family members. She let us in on her brief humiliation with the casting director of, 'The Color Purple'; confessed to checking into a fat farm; and that 2012 was a brutally challenging year for her. She put it all out there so we could relate to her sadness, embarrassments, setbacks. Just because she's 'Oprah' doesn't mean she doesn't have her own hardships.
She stood there, before a stadium crowd, and confessed that her mother still sees her only as a dollar sign. She also went on to say that she stopped wishing for her parents to be somebody else. Instead she has come to accept her parents for who they are. It was a very touching proclamation by a woman who most claim, "has it all".
I was deeply moved when she went on to explain how we're all alike. We hurt the same; our joys are the same. She realized that we all share the same feelings when, after every interview, her guests would ask, "Was that OK? How did I do?" She discovered that what people really wanted to know was, ' Did you hear me? Did you see me? Did what I say mean anything to you?' That yearning for validation, acceptance, approval is familiar to us all. It was actually comforting to hear that even those who exude self-confidence, are also looking for acceptance. We all want to be enough in our own eyes, as well as in the eyes of others. The red thread throughout Oprah's speech, for me, was self-love. When you can tune out your obnoxious ego and connect to your best Self, you'll hear life's message.
She went on to say many things I already heard or read, so I'm leaving you with a list of quotes that left their mark:

• On discovering your life purpose: "If you were to die tomorrow, people would eulogize your life and say all kinds of things about you. In the course of what they said, there would be a red thread connecting all the dots".
• On your beliefs: "Exam what you believe because you'll see how what you believe has really determined the space that you're living in today", and "Whatever follows 'I Am' will come looking for you".
• On co-creating your life: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"- Luke 6:31, and "Everything you do has already been done to you".
• On 2012 being a career low as her network failed in ratings: "Failure is life pushing us in a new direction".
• On your legacy: "Your legacy is everybody that you've ever touched"- Maya Angelou; also from Ms. Angelou is a quote that I personally want to share: "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel".
• On taking ownership: Be the "Master of my Fate; Captain of my Soul".
• On Psychics - the 3rd law of motion & your intention: "For every action (thought or feeling), there's an equal or opposite reaction. When we participate in the cause of something, we cannot escape its effect, or more importantly, the intention behind it".
• On your trials: "Trials force you to go deeper into more of who you are".
• On acceptance: "All stress and suffering is caused by wanting something to be what it isn't - Eckhart Tolley
• On the "thorn" (a recognizable pain(s) from childhood. Oprah's include abuse & rejection): When things happen in your life, that rub up against that old thorn ask, "What was my role in creating this?"
• On forgiveness: "Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the path couldn't be different".
• On connecting to the Source: "If you're not willing to take 2 minutes of stillness, you don't deserve to have a great life".
• On luck: Luck is meeting the moment of opportunity. Get yourself ready for your moment".
• On being open to receive: "Go through life with an open hand, rather than a clenched or resistant fist".
• On the power of your calling: "Let your deepest spiritual practice be gratitude". 

Every human being is looking for the same thing. We all live through the same emotions, but at different times. We all struggle, celebrate our joys, and grieve in same way. In short, my overview of my Oprah experience is this: accept what cannot be changed; let of go of what wasn't; identify your "thorn"; be aware of your intention; be prepared to meet your moment; believe in the unbelievable; be grateful for every experience; shift to serve others and remember..."The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are".
P.S. If you haven't already, I encourage you to read the poem she read called, 'Love After Love' (previous post).

Poem: LOVE AFTER LOVE

Oprah shared this poem with the audience last night at the Bell Center. Many of her words brought a lump to my throat, but it was only when she read this poem aloud, was I brought to tears.

A gift for you, my devoted readers.....


Love After Love


Image: kathylkidd.com

The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

-Derek Walcott


 

Enough is Enough

At what point are you able to walk away from criticism? How long before hearing your flaws on repeat, do you choose to tune out? When your barometer reading hits the "stormy" mark, do you run for shelter or get drenched by the sharp rain? How much bulls**** can you take?

If your thought pattern goes from negative to positive by listing your imperfections better than your competencies, or your failures faster than your successes, then I get you! I'm not celebrating the fact that at this time I can completely relate to this shitty feeling. In all honesty, I hate having the "enough" convo with my Ego, my chakras, God, and the Uni-verse. It kinda rolls out like this: I get verbally knocked down, bark back or shut up and repress my rebuttal, let the dust settle, and then I power talk. I pull out my imaginary bouquet of gerberas and with each proclamation of how amazing I am, I throw myself a flower (b/c if you don't tell yourself how fuckin' fantastic you are, no one will!).

I'm having one of those days when I feel exhausted to defend who I am. As the dust settles though, the bull**** starts to mentally absorb and almost becomes believable. Whoever said, "Don't think too hard, you might hurt yourself", is a genius. When you start to buy into your toxic thoughts, there's no denying that you'll be hurt. We also spend enough energy putting ourselves down, that we don't need someone else to highlight our shortcomings. Hey, last time I checked, I'm trying my best. On my journey, I packaged a lot of mistakes. Thanks to them, when I stumble, I can get up! While I don't appreciate people putting me down, I see how, almost natural, it is to judge. It's so easy for us to knock others down, because while we're busy faultfinding in others, we're not looking at ourselves.
I AM, who I AM, and you don't have to like me (although I prefer being liked). We always have choices, so I choose to let go of the critique. Every flower needs dirt to grow, and while I'm down here, I'm going to find my crack of sunlight.

A Night with Oprah

A week from today, I'll be sitting in the same room as the most influential women in the world, Oprah Winfrey (another bucket list check off)! There's no denying that she can single handily 'make or break' anything and anyone. Who would've ever imagined that an African American Woman would some day be the most powerful woman on the planet?!
She may have been raised in poverty (wearing potato sacs as dresses), however she was reading and writing by kindergarten! Oprah has lived through numerous hardships including giving birth to a child at age 14, who died 2 weeks later. She was also abused, from the tender age of 9, by family members. Knocking down every pylon in her way, she was determined for success. And although she "has it all", the only thing she can't seem to win over is the scale. Her fluctuating weight is almost a metaphor for the highs and lows she's lived through.
So, if you could ask Oprah Winfrey one question, what would it be? Of course, I have a few questions I'd love to ask her. Knowing that our bodies harbor lots of emotional clutter, my first question is related to her weight issues. For some people, their emotional 'stuff' develops into tumors or ulcers, while for others, it's sheltered in their body weight. Here's my question: "Oprah, you were physically abused as a child, as well as verbally and emotionally abused by your former boyfriends. Do you think your struggle with weight is hindered by deep, emotional scars related to self-love and self-compassion?"
I'd ask Oprah about her weight because it's hard to understand how this woman could be defeated by any challenge. As I know many who struggle with their weight, I could never clearly understand how Oprah hasn't conquered the scale to her satisfaction. It's gotta be emotional baggage, but then again, she's the poster child for expressing your emotions, so I'm so curious about that issue.
As well. I'm impressed with her global power and influence, but I'm fascinated with her childhood. She once claimed that she had chosen not to be a mother because she had not been mothered well. Oprah's mom discouraged her from reading books and refused to take her to the public library, which she loved.
So here's my question: Oprah, do you truly believe that a woman who wasn't mothered well, cannot be a good mother? If so, then please explain the following. You're mother disheartened your passion for reading, yet you continued to read, eventually creating 'Oprah's Book Club'. You proved that you know better than your mom did. The fact that you pursued your love for reading, against your mother's wishes, is ample justification that you're not a carbon copy of her. You're genetically connected, but you're your own person.
We certainly have a connection with our parents that we pass down to our children. However, I refuse to think that women who have been poorly raised, are most likely going to repeat history with their own children. I also believe that the foundation for raising any child is love. If a child isn't loved by their parents, it doesn't mean they'll never know how to love themselves. That's just my "wish I had my own talk show" moment.
Oprah, you're inspiring on my levels. Looking forward to an evening of awkening and learning, by the Big 'O'.