My Soul Intention

2013 = Team Soul

As I begin 2013, I feel as though I'm already behind. I've never been enthusiastic to list resolutions - mainly because of my track record. It's common for me to let a few slip through the cracks. The only resolution I've maintained is to stop making resolutions. This year though, I thought it's be nice to set an intention. An intention is sort of like a commitment you make with the help of the Universe. You state what you want and the Universe gives you what you need. The reason I feel off beat is because it's January 6th and I haven't quite settled on an intention!
Sorry but I seem to have missed the email regarding the new year. When did January 1st become the day most people like to think is the beginning to the rest of their lives? It seems like everyone I know has signed, sealed, and delivered their resolutions. As for me, I don't wait for a new year to roll around to create a wish list to be 10 lbs lighter, get promoted, or find the perfect partner (even when I was single). I'd rather set an intention that resonates with me at this time (even if it's a week late).
My year began wonderfully thanks to being in the sun, surrounded by family and friends. But when my vacation comes to an end, it's back to my (still) unsettled life. I'm in career transition mode, yet I struggle to accept that fact. I find it hard to build a career that doesn't include a corporate organizational chart with a bonus plan. I've been an employee for 16 years and now I'm in the driver's seat, without a GPS! One thing's for sure, as much as I got dumped on in my career, nothing beat the validation that came with my job title. My voice mattered. My opinion was important. My ideas were praised. Now I'm looking to fill that void.
Being self-employed is quite an adjustment for me. I absolutely love teaching yoga. In my classes, I have a voice that matters too. I just don't feel as though I'm enough. Maybe it's because I've chosen to teach a very limited number of classes. It could also be that my annual earnings went from shopping at Gucci to Canal street. And all these feelings of just not adding up to "enough" are being manifested by my Ego. It's crazy how the Ego can take up so much space in my small frame. It feeds off of every insecurity, every self-doubt, every negative thought. I swear it even seems like I water it daily because I think it has grown to take up 80% of my being!
As the first week of 2013 passes, I've come to realize that my intention for the next 12 months will be quite simple. I don't need a gym membership or unrealistic goals to top my list. I simply want to weaken my Ego so that I can live authentically from my Soul. I want less self-criticism, self-judgement, self-absorption. I plan to achieve this through a consistent, mindful, breathing practice and (my biggest challenge) meditation. The best way for me to sit for meditation is to tell myself I'm going on a date with my best friend who thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread, Facebook, and YouTube. My best friend encourages me to live out every emotion and guides me to lead from my Soul. I think I can hang with her for 15 minutes a day!
For those of you that are confronted with feelings of inadequacy in a culture driven by performance, I invite you to add "deep breathing" to your 2013 list. Only when we're conscious of our breath, are we truly present in the moment. As every exhalation rids the body of toxins, each inhalation creates space in for our Soul to expand. Making more room for the Soul means you're loving, compassionate and kind to your Self. In my calendar, it's never too late to start loving your Self more each day.