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| From an Americano to a Caramel Macchiato |
"I'm not happy," my friend exclaimed. On the outside, she looked
like a Starbucks venti (loaded with sugar, spice and everything nice), but on
the inside she felt like a caffé Americano. I guess we're all plain black
coffee, but the difference is in whether we choose to stay bland or to spice
up our spirit with whipped cream and caramel sauce.
I think an 'unhappy' chip exists in all of us. Experiences, situations,
circumstances are all capable of switching it on. Another person, however, can
never be responsible for making you feel sad. When your unhappy chip is
activated it's because a particular incident caused it to switch on. Like my
friend, many of us are blessed with good health, ample material comfort, and a
loving family. So how can she possibly be unhappy? She hasn't suffered any
recent loss, she has a flexible schedule, full-time help, the luxury of travelling
when she pleases, and a husband who makes this all possible. So WTF?! As much as this is painfully difficult to admit, she reminds me of myself two years ago! I guess I lent a compassionate ear (as she shared her feelings) because her sadness was familiar to me. I was once the plain black coffee in a Starbucks venti cup. I have everything she has, yet I felt emotionally vacant. I used shopping to distract me from looking within and to further justify my unhappiness, I blamed others. So how did I go from being a black coffee to a Caramel Macchiato?
I strongly disliked who I had become and when I stopped working (losing glorification), I felt inadequate. I'm not asking for a pity party here, but let's face it, the second question you ask a stranger at a dinner party is what they do for a living. And you can't deny the fact that we live in a culture driven by performance, so when you tell them you're presently 'soul searching', you know your perceived value just dropped. My happiness was driven by ego, the need to perform, to please, to be admired by others. For years I was the compared child, but when I entered adulthood, I became the one comparing and judging myself.
When we look at Starbucks' tallest cup (the venti), we think there's more value in it. The value isn't in the size of the cup, but rather what we fill it up with. So I decided to start accepting who I really was and adjust my recipe to taste a little sweeter. I learned the most about myself through other human beings. The people who irritated me enough to create tension in my body, were the best mirrors. And by the way, this fact still applies in my daily life. After all, whatever we see in others is a projection of our own self. Furthermore, happiness is not just a state; it's a choice! Every single minute we choose how we want to feel. I recognized that being unhappy sucked, so I directed the flashlight towards my spirit and slowly began sincerely loving my Self.
They say a dog is 'a man's best friend', but I say YOU are your best friend. The day you don't like hanging out with your best friend, is the day you need to reconsider who you genuinely want to be. Some days I want to be a Venti Caramel Macchiato, some days I just feel like being a Grande Skinny Latte. The difference is, that now, I can feel equally satisfied being a grande with less toppings.
