Bruised But Not Broken

High 5 to that!

In grade six I signed up for a talent show. I was up against my good friend, Laura. I still remember my outfit, inspired by famous track runner, Flo-Jo. I also still remember how I felt when I heard the principal announcing Laura as the winner. I was sad, disappointed, and pissed off at Laura (her performance was better).  That same year we held federal elections within our grade. I was selected, along with two boys to represent one of the three federal parties. I was runner up to the Liberal leader. Again, I experienced loss, felt just not good enough, sad, and disappointed. What I didn't know then was that I accepted these challenges because I believed in myself. Instead I dwelled in loss, sadness, disappointment.
Elementary school had its highs. When I wasn't busy chasing boys, I'd be helping my 3rd grade teacher, Miss Rita. She wasn't your average teacher. She saw God in all 28 of us, even when we were disruptive, rude, or being obnoxious nine year olds. Our spirit never forgets those that sparked a light within us and also remembers the ones that blew it out. Lest we forget my science teacher, telling my parents he couldn't believe I shared the same genes as my brainy sister (his version was candy-coated).
Funny, when I reflect on my life, I easily recall the moments that wounded my spirit. The people who believed in my abilities are unforgettable, yet the ones who didn't, hold the same space. Every experience has made me who I am - kind and compassionate; angry and sad. The truth is we become a product of our highs and lows, the compliments and the criticism. This is why we are the way we are. You may wonder why your life isn't working the way you want, but life doesn't work for you, it RESPONDS to you.
Every single human being knows sadness, anger, fear, loss, shame, emptiness, joy, love.  We've all tapped into these feelings via different circumstances. The path may be different, but it has bumps, hills, pot holes and long stretches of smooth road. The stories change from one person to another, but the FEELINGS are the same.
Life isn't a competition of good and bad times, or kind and mean words. We're all in this together. The only difference  is how we choose to navigate through our life path. I know that my childhood bruises are within me today, but they haven't broken my spirit. The beauty of life is in the fine print: 'You will be bruised but not broken'. No matter what 'your story' (disease, abuse, addiction, infidelity, loss, abandonment...), give yourself permission to FEEL. Allow your emotions to live; acknowledge that something significant has gone wrong.
I started writing this post with another idea, but somehow it took a different direction. Nonetheless, I won't change how it started, knowing full well that it was meant to begin in childhood, when I got my first bruise.
I came to remind you today that your life is just a story. You can choose to make it a best seller or you can write the draft and never go to the print. All of it won't matter, except how you feel with your choice.

Namaste.
photo credit: zsazsabellagio.blogspot.ca