Solidarité

Symbol created by artist Jean Jullien

Solidarité. What does that mean? The Webster dictionary defines is as "a feeling of unity between people who have the same interests, goals, etc.". Judging by my recent Facebook feed, 98% of my friends' statuses, represents solidarité. But again, what does that mean?
During my four day yoga conference, this past weekend, I was in a cocoon. I bypassed the news, literally missing the latest terrorist attacks in Paris. While most of you were watching CNN or your FB feed, I was watching myself. From yoga classes to inner peace lectures, I was observing my monkey mind, my resistance to the uncomfortable, my fears, my reactivity. I felt the tension in my body, from the stories I've produced over the years. I embraced my shadow and prayed, in solidarité.
Together, we listened to our guru, Seane Corn, lead us in a prayer. With heavy hearts, we committed to these words:"May this practice be an opportunity for healing, awakening and remembrance to occur body, mind, and spirit. May I be released from any limited belief that is blocking me from stepping into my power. Transform my resistance into surrender, my reactivity into understanding, my judgment into patience, my fear into faith. May this faith carry me forward on my path with an open heart, embracing all that I experience along the way, as guidance for my ever evolving soul. May this practice be blessed and my the vibration held in all our hearts be offered outward as a unified prayer for peace." And as those words were spoken, we had no idea that somewhere in the world, hate stole time.
As I watch the news, read posts online, I'm reminded, again, that we just don't get it! As French flags are appearing everywhere, did you ask yourself, 'What is my contribution to all this hate in our world?' If you haven't, then that flag, possibly draping over your profile picture, means nothing. If you believe that your daily actions have no relevance to acts of hate, then nothing will change. Just for the record, I'm including myself when I say 'we'. I take full responsibility for my reactivity on a daily basis and feel accountable (to some extent) for what is happening in the world. It's not 'us' vs. 'them'. When we insult, verbally abuse, bully, make racial remarks, we're simply feeding hate.
As the rest of the world, 'unites' (in support of what, I'm not sure), with demonstrations and protests, I'd like to remind you that hate crimes have existed before my time. The Holocaust killed 11  million people, 1.1 million were children and 6 million were Jews. And what about the Armenian, Rwandan, Bosnian Genocides? Lest we forget Montreal's experience with hate, the École Polytechnique massacre, over 25 years ago. So again, I ask you, what is your contribution? We need to start taking accountability for the hate, anger, greed, jealousy, envy, entitlement that we put out into the world every day. Turn the CNN cameras on your life and observe how you react towards yourself and others.
This may be my most controversial post to date, but after a week-end of pulling off the veil to see my truth, I recognize that I'm part of the problem. Time to acknowledge our shadows, so we may find comfort in knowing that we're all in this together. As I once read, "all it takes for evil to succeed, is for good to do nothing". Do something. Start by looking at yourself. Once you can own up to your reactivity, your prejudices, your abuse, then we can stand in solidarité.

Flight Unknown, Now Boarding

We all have a plan with expectations. From career path, to love life, to family structure, we subconsciously create a story of how our life will unfold. But what happens when the plan fails and our expectations take a nose dive?

Lately, I've been hearing sad stories about expectations going terribly wrong. Whether it be a bad divorce, a sick child, or another disease, each story leads towards the unexpected. Never, did any of these people expect these realities to become their own. Though they think they’re in it alone, I'm on a path, alongside theirs, and yours.
Our life plan is similar to travelling. You choose a destination (aka, your goal), but there are no direct flights. You're given a travel itinerary that has you stuck in long lay overs, with connections to cities you never knew existed. Just when you take off, you're preparing to land. And when you're on a 14 hour flight with turbulence, you pray to get off. The lay overs are similar to our comfort zone. We feel safe because nothing much is happening. We're simply waiting for the next 'flight'. But if the last experience was traumatic, we'd rather skip the next flight and linger in our comfort. Ironically though, to discover the wonders of the world, you've got to get on that 14 hour, bumpy ride.
So is your plan manifesting to your liking? Are you in 'lay over' mode? Or, are you living the unexpected life? I'm not a fan of flying, so where does that leave me? Well I'm creative, so I find alternative solutions to get to my destination. I'm also living in the moment, so my progress is much slower. When I mapped out my life plan, my pace was fast with no room for delays. Until one day the unexpected happened. I was forced to stop, sit, and wait. Stop the speed, sit with my shadow and wait for the light. My expectations disappointed me in the best way possible. My journey went from the Eiffel Tower to four walls and a yoga mat. On that mat, I discovered that first class was nice, but the last row was enlightening.
To those suffering because their plan failed, I share this. You’re not your story. You’re not your divorce, or 'not enough'; you’re not your disease or your anger and guilt, or your sadness or resentment. You're a soul. Your path diverted into the unknown, but your soul remains the same. The sadness, anger, guilt, resentment are feelings in your story, but they're not who you are. You're simply a soul experiencing life. You suffer and I suffer, in my own way. So forget the story, and see the soul! 
We're all travelling to different destinations, at our own pace. And like the tortoise and the hare, we get fooled by the competition. What we fail to understand is that we're all in the same race, heading towards our own finish line. Our ego taunts us to look at the one's running at a pace we can't maintain. And we feel defeated and shamed when we slow down, because we expected differently. Instead of thinking, 'I hope we all make it!’ we mentally sabotage ourselves with comparison and ideals.
As you read this, slow down, notice your breath. Stop and sit. Life is the best gift we can ever receive. Welcome whatever turbulence you're experiencing along your journey. Accept and acknowledge that you're allowed to have bad days. Know though, that those are the moments you're furthest from God. Keep those days few and far between. I may not know your suffering, but I know what suffering feels like. Through my own darkness, I still believe that even in the last row, life is good. And even more comforting is recognizing that first class and coach land at the same time. So we're all travelling together. Different destinations with different views. What matters is that we both scored a seat on an overbooked plane.
I wish us all a trip that keeps us close to God, with trust in the process of life. To those who get lost along the way, due impart to derailed expectations, you're not alone. So here's to the honest truth: "Life is amazing and then it's awful. And then it's amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful it's ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That's just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it's breathtakingly beautiful." -LR Knost

                                                                                                     

 

Bruised But Not Broken

High 5 to that!

In grade six I signed up for a talent show. I was up against my good friend, Laura. I still remember my outfit, inspired by famous track runner, Flo-Jo. I also still remember how I felt when I heard the principal announcing Laura as the winner. I was sad, disappointed, and pissed off at Laura (her performance was better).  That same year we held federal elections within our grade. I was selected, along with two boys to represent one of the three federal parties. I was runner up to the Liberal leader. Again, I experienced loss, felt just not good enough, sad, and disappointed. What I didn't know then was that I accepted these challenges because I believed in myself. Instead I dwelled in loss, sadness, disappointment.
Elementary school had its highs. When I wasn't busy chasing boys, I'd be helping my 3rd grade teacher, Miss Rita. She wasn't your average teacher. She saw God in all 28 of us, even when we were disruptive, rude, or being obnoxious nine year olds. Our spirit never forgets those that sparked a light within us and also remembers the ones that blew it out. Lest we forget my science teacher, telling my parents he couldn't believe I shared the same genes as my brainy sister (his version was candy-coated).
Funny, when I reflect on my life, I easily recall the moments that wounded my spirit. The people who believed in my abilities are unforgettable, yet the ones who didn't, hold the same space. Every experience has made me who I am - kind and compassionate; angry and sad. The truth is we become a product of our highs and lows, the compliments and the criticism. This is why we are the way we are. You may wonder why your life isn't working the way you want, but life doesn't work for you, it RESPONDS to you.
Every single human being knows sadness, anger, fear, loss, shame, emptiness, joy, love.  We've all tapped into these feelings via different circumstances. The path may be different, but it has bumps, hills, pot holes and long stretches of smooth road. The stories change from one person to another, but the FEELINGS are the same.
Life isn't a competition of good and bad times, or kind and mean words. We're all in this together. The only difference  is how we choose to navigate through our life path. I know that my childhood bruises are within me today, but they haven't broken my spirit. The beauty of life is in the fine print: 'You will be bruised but not broken'. No matter what 'your story' (disease, abuse, addiction, infidelity, loss, abandonment...), give yourself permission to FEEL. Allow your emotions to live; acknowledge that something significant has gone wrong.
I started writing this post with another idea, but somehow it took a different direction. Nonetheless, I won't change how it started, knowing full well that it was meant to begin in childhood, when I got my first bruise.
I came to remind you today that your life is just a story. You can choose to make it a best seller or you can write the draft and never go to the print. All of it won't matter, except how you feel with your choice.

Namaste.
photo credit: zsazsabellagio.blogspot.ca