Confessions of a Blogger

The Dark vs. The Light....Welcome both!

I must confess. I took a break from writing my blog because I put a lot of energy, time, passion into each post. I'm very selective with every word I type. Though most of my readers know me, I've also attracted a following of strangers. There are many who have no clue who I am, how funny I can be, or that I'm authentic every time I write. Most importantly, however, is that this is my playground where I can freely express my feelings, my knowledge, and my opinions. There are times when I don't feel up to headlining my fears or resistance to any challenges that surface. That's when I take a blog break. Today though, I want to reveal what I've learnt over the past week.
Taking on any project, that's broadcasted virtually, can have its downside. I'm referring to my now "famous" last post. To date, over 5500 people out in cyber world, read that post. Crazy, insane, completely unexpected! I could've been over-the-moon-thrilled, but that's not quite how I felt. All it took was one negative comment, posted on my page, to chip away at my spirit. My feelings dominated that post, but my ego was wounded by a handful of negative comments, amongst a readership of 5000 people. Needless to say, I endured a painful sore throat for 3 days. When I finally discovered how to completely wipe out the 'comments' section on my blog, I began feeling better. I've said this countless times - your body responds to your concealed emotions. I couldn't understand how a single person could claim my post was judgemental or offensive. With every reply on my end, I'd get attacked even more. Suddenly my voice felt powerless. I wanted to say so much more, but I was too emotionally consumed to speak. My throat was so sore because I knew I couldn't swallow the few negative comments I received. Finally I removed the 'comments' section, for the simple reason, that it was overshadowing the essence of my post. I did receive kind, loving comments, but I didn't feel any comments were necessary.
So what does this all me? I had, by far, the most successful post ever (without any intention). Instead of revelling in the fact that so many people shared my story, I was overwhelmed by the impact of my words. It's a humbling feeling to go from thinking you have a talent, to realizing that you truly do. I think I write well. I've submitted stories to wellness magazines that never made the cut. But this experience has taught me that I don't need validation by a magazine, to know that my writing can influence strangers. What matters most is that what I write inspires, guides, or helps someone get through their day. This blog allows me to expose what I know or need to know about myself. Through every post, I discover the sacred truth - mistakes are significant in heightening the relationship we have with ourselves. Always go back to your intention, for if it comes from a place of love, your mission is faultless.