Cry Sum Moar



Fashionably Sad

I have a dear friend who was diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer this year. Another friend's mom was just diagnosed as well. I have a friend who lost a child; two other friends that lost their husbands. Another friend lost her dad and I lost my grandmother this year. Where will each one of us go from here? And will we try to dodge the pain or face it?
When my friend hit her vulnerable button, making me the only witness to her meltdown, I sighed with silent relief. She, on the other hand, almost slapped herself for crying. "I'm a happy person. I hate feeling sad," she exclaimed. Let's pause for a minute for a reality check. Which human being is constantly happy? No one, right! You can't possibly go through life with a permanent smile on your face. That's just bullshit. There's no truth in always being happy or positive. Everyone has their Debbie Downer moments - that's the truth.
As I encouraged her to cry, she reminded me that crying meant she was weak. Well if I was diagnosed with cancer, under 40, with 2 young children, I'd be a hot mess, and I'd drink to that! Here's the deal - you can't bypass the pain. If you keep suppressing the sadness, how do you think that will serve you? You're broken. Acknowledge the fact that you’re hurting. Let the emotions rise to the surface, so the grief can pour over. CRY. CRY. Cry so much that your heart literally hurts.
During lunch with a broken friend, she told me no one likes to be sad. I disagree. I think we're afraid of our own sadness. If we were uncomfortable with sadness, Grey’s Anatomy wouldn't be a hit series. The truth is we allow ourselves to cry for others’ heartbreak, but struggle with our own. So we’re compassionate with other people’s sadness, to the point where we’re crying with them, but when it comes to our mess, we’d rather turn a blind eye.
I can’t tell you if the following chapter holds the happy ending. I also won’t tell you that it’ll get better. Some circumstances are so painful that I can only hope a person can move forward with an optimistic heart. What I know for sure is that sadness has a right to live just as much as happiness does. Stop listening to people who tell you to stop crying when you do. They're just uncomfortable seeing you suffer. Find a trustworthy friend that you can share your pain with. But before you can do that, you gotta refrain from judging your reaction to your own pain, when it pops up.  
You're allowed to say that today is not a good day for you. Give yourself permission to be in a bad mood. When your emotions start to get turbulent, allow yourself to ride the bumps. Have your ‘cure kit’ handy (deep breaths, a box of Kleenex, a pillow to pound, scream, or cry in). I’ve been there too. God knows I’ve showered my yoga mat with plenty of mucus and tears over the years. It took me a long time to explore blockages that brought me deeper suffering. I’ve been there and I continue to go there when I need to.
As we prepare for the holidays, let’s remember that although it’s not the hap-happiest season of all for some of us, it’s OK. Be true to your emotions. Let them live. For 2014, I wish you all an explosion of champagne tears. There's always light after the darkness...there will be happy after sad, and although I can’t promise true happiness will ever be the same, know that we’re all a little broken and that's OK.

 

Top 10 Gift Ideas

It's the most wonderful time of the year....for giving and sharing. 

Drum roll pleeeze.......voila my 2013 fave gift ideas fit for any credit card limit!

Make it thoughtful. Make it creative. Make it fun. Make it special. Make it meaningful.

Hope you get inspired. XOXO

#1. Nerf Rebelle Bow, to be a kid again & practice your aim (available at Target)

#2. Silk wrap Intention Bracelet, to start 2014 with a kickass intention (laughlivelovejewelry.com)

#3. Starbucks Stainless Steel Tumbler Rose Gold, for fashionable latte drinkers (Starbucks shops)

#4. AMEN leather bracelets with Ave Maria engraved, for comfort & peace (amencollection.com)

#5. Typography nail polish set, for inspiring words you can read off your toes (Sephora.com)

#6. Vitamix blender, for healthy eating & juicing (vitamix.com)

#7. Yogi Tea, the only tea that offers unique messages on each tea bag (yogiproducts.com)

#8. Archetypes by Caroline Myss, for anyone who wants to discover who they are (indigo.com)

#9. Positive Affirmations Pillowcases, to manifest good thoughts (etsy.com/shop/decoromantra)

#10. Tracy Anderson Rebounder,to have fun & sweat (tracyandersonmethod.com)

 

Gifts are fabulous, but don't forget: “The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”

-Thich Nhat Hanh

When in Doubt: Aim Right

So today I thought it'd be fun to split my legs so far apart that they'd possibly snap! Not sure that was the best idea considering how creative I had to be to get out of the pose. I love manipulating my limbs to extremes. When I push myself physically, the battle between my mind and my body begins. I breathe. I cringe. I keep breathing. The sensation is uncomfortable, but I hang in, or I opt out. It really depends on how I feel on any given day.  Every breath brings a choice - flow or go.

Think about all the choices you've made since you woke up this morning. You chose your outfit, your breakfast, even your attitude. How we choose to flow through each day depends mostly on how we think. The morning might begin ambitious, like the start of a half-marathon. Then a whisper blows through your mind that changes everything. Suddenly, you feel depleted and unmotivated. Your mind has checked your feet outta the race. The next hour will be physically exhausting due to your cruel self-talk that sounds something like this: "You should've stayed in bed"; "Today just isn't your day"; "You're not ready for this"; WTF we you thinking?!"

We're so bombarded by choices that most of the time, we find ourselves debating our decision. I'm at the point in my life where I can't decipher bad choices vs. good ones. I make them and just flow with whatever comes. If I make a 'bad' choice, I believe it'll lead me to another place that could be better.

After spending four days at a yoga conference, surrounded by good vibes and a desire to feel peaceful, I began reflecting on my path. I've made choices that perhaps I wouldn't make today, but the difference between then and now, is my outlook. Today I look in every direction with trust that the arrow I'm drawn to will lead me to the right place. Do you give a lot of your power to your choices? Do you allow them to define you, belittle you, or better you, strengthen you? Think about that.

We all aspire to make the right choice - not good or bad. We're all aiming for something spectacular (perhaps with fireworks and fairy dust), that can only manifest from our unlimited choices. This quote really captures the essence of trusting the good, the bad, the right, the wrong: "An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means it's just going to launch you into something great." Keep aiming, for eventually you will nail your target. And when you get to that spectacular somewhere, there better be champagne ;)

 

 

Dying to Win

We need shade to appreciate the light



You woke up this morning. Check. You walked over to pour yourself a cup of coffee. Check. You're not terminally ill. Check with fireworks. It's going to be a damn good day! If for one minute today you're feeling stuck, depleted, low-spirited or simply negative - Stop. Breathe. Surrender to whatever the universe is firing your way. Nothing really bad or really good ever lasts that long anyway.
With pink ribbons overpowering Halloween decorations, it's pretty clear that cancer has gone from awareness to commonness. This post is for the cheerleaders on the sidelines, supporting anyone fighting an illness. It's also for those who are spectators in the bleachers. Wherever you're standing, you're familiar with the rules. Cancer or any terminal illness is like watching the Super Bowl - you know someone is gonna lose, but you don't know when. Ah the 'when' period is dreadfully painful.
From my experience on the sidelines, I credit yoga for helping me accept the process of life. I sat bedside for weeks helping my grandmother transition into her next phase of life. I'm not going to lie - the little girl in me didn't want to let go. I did a whole lot of breathing. I'd breathe into that pain so that when she'd look at me, she knew she could surrender to the inevitable.
And you? How are you effected by pink ribbons and cancer fundraisers? If you weren't equipped to accept your loss, it's not too late. The universe gives you plenty of second chances. You watched a rookie get intercepted by an overwhelming force, famous for touchdowns. You hoped, you prayed, you wished the odds were better. May be you regret not being present enough. There's a reason you stayed away from the sidelines and that's OK. Cheerleading isn't for everyone. Make peace with yourself by surrendering to what you cannot control.
For all of us who know someone presently ill, I encourage you to follow the rules and cry. Crying is a normal reaction that gets you bonus points. Waiting for the 'when' sucks, but it's an opportunity to recognize how blessed you are to have this person in your life. With a heavy heart, I smile at all those I've lost to cancer, and I pull out my pom poms to the ones on the field.
If you're complaining today. Stop. Breathe. Remind yourself you're healthy, and keep growing.

I Heart Nothingness

I'm feeling very mellow today. The dust has settled after a wild, long week-end high. It feels so good to reflect on my day only to realize that all I've done so far is eat and yoga. On the heels of Thanksgiving, I'm beyond grateful for being able to bask in nothingness. For years I worked tirelessly, feeling consumed by jetlagged business trips, stuffy fashion events, and a boss who never accepted "impossible" as an answer. Back then I was proud to look at my calendar in wonderment of when I'd be able to schedule a pee break. I was busy, busy, busy. Busy equalled performance; performance brought results; results delivered achievement ; achievement equalled value*. Today, my evaluation looks a lil more like this: busy equals doing; doing distracts from being; not being causes imbalance; imbalance creates instability; instability awakens truth. This means that we'd rather be busy with distractions than taking time for ourselves. And when we silence our accumulated 'stuff', we're just suppressing our truth.
It only takes 5 minutes to re-set your mind and relax your body. Sitting, and just breathing can settle anxiety, insomnia, fear. Breathing alone can reduce tension in your body. We're part of a culture that needs a list of credentials, full inbox, 500+ Facebook friends, a LinkedIn profile, Twitter account, gym membership, and a sold out Saturday night schedule to feel valued. Whatever happened to glorifying the luxury of doing nothing, yet being more? Dictionary.com defines 'nothingness' as follows: noth·ing·ness
1. the state of being nothing.

2. something that is nonexistent: a view of humanity as suspended between infinity and nothingness. 

3. lack of being; nonexistence

4. unconsciousness or death

5. utter insignificance, emptiness, or worthlessness; triviality

WOW!  "Nonexistent"? "Insignificant"? "Worthlessness"? I think this definition needs a 2013 update! You heard it here first - Nothingness is the healthiest pastime. When I ask someone what they're doing and they reply "nothing", I'm actually impressed. According to my husband (reality checkmate), doing nothing doesn't pay Hydro. Granted it doesn't pay the bills, however I'm not saying to do nothing all day, every day. I'm suggesting that you do less and be more. Sit with yourself more often. Stop, breath, listen. Feel the four corners of your feet touch the earth. Inhale the crisp October air. Listen to the rustling of the leaves. Watch the beauty of their changing color. Just take 5 minutes a day to tune in and connect to the rawness of life. You'll slow down, become kinder, a little more patient, and tolerant with yourself and everything around you.

Namaste.

*Don't let someone else estimate your value. Find your own value through the simplicities of just being.

Blind Man, Blind Man, What do you See?

What do you see?

"IF THE WORLD WAS BLIND, HOW MANY PEOPLE WOULD YOU IMPRESS?" -Boonaa Mohammed

Four out of five women wear make-up. MAC sells 1 lipstick and 1 eye shadow every two seconds.
The cosmetics industry was valued at 426 billion in 2011.  And 2012 was officially the year of the silicone breast implants. Clearly, we're investing in our appearance!
Is our self-esteem so bruised that we're turning to wrinkle reducing products for self-confidence? Why do we feel this need to enhance how we look? On a deeper note - are you equally invested in your well-being as you are in what we're seeing? If the world was blind, you know you wouldn't wear make-up or dye your hair. I'm the first to admit, even on my dishevelled days, I make sure I'm wearing the 'right' shoes. Heck I even went tanning last week so I could 'look' better in my dress. That is the power of visual perception! As a result, we judge ourselves and others based on appearance.
We all aspire to look a certain way, in hope of feeling better about ourselves. The truth is we'll only love ourselves unconditionally, when we can strip away the layers of pretence, and accept what we find. Underneath the highlights, bronzing powder, miracle bra, Spanx, is you, and me. We may not be authentic on the outside, but we should all aspire to be authentic on the inside. Ask yourself: Is what we see fuelling your self-confidence?
Today, anyone can look successful, but not many of us  feel successful. While we're busy enhancing our external features, we're neglecting our internal Self. Before you judge yourself on the scale (or on your yoga mat), consider the weight of your self-confidence first. We all have insecurities, but I think most of us focus on our physical inadequacies, while ignoring our emotional ones. Let's look in the mirror (before disguising our face) and accept what we see.....at least for today (baby steps).

Fall into Change

With Fall suspended in the air, 'change' is itching to take over. From an aesthetic perspective, the leaves start to change colour. The air sharpens. The sun descends earlier. There's something about Fall that I respect. For me, it's like the unveiling of my New Year Resolutions. I'm suddenly motivated to take a leap. Improve myself. Be more whole. I'm ready for CHANGE!
As I prepare to teach my new yoga session tomorrow, I remind myself of the following: "Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can." (that's most likely what I'll tell my students). Today you're somewhere; tomorrow you'll be elsewhere. No two days are alike - heck no two minutes are either.
Change is lingering, as my daughter starts school, my workload increases, and my routine goes from dull to dynamic. The same way in which the leaves grow through stages, so do we. Fall marks the beginning of change, encouraging achievable goals, with a commitment to stay the course.
Now, I'm not suggesting you start taking Crossfit classes! It would be enlightening, however, if you set an intention that will allow you to inch your way to a new personal discovery. Notice how I said 'discovery' and not 'achievement'? This is not January 1st, where we're making bets with our ego. This is about going beyond our comfort, so that we can grow. As much as I'm nurturing my spiritual evolution, my change of choice has deeper roots. My intention for Fall is to reprogram my thoughts. It's time to drop the long-winded story and reboot. The mental chaos (fear, judgement, anger, worry, guilt, blame, regret) is stifling. With so much change going on in my life, my confidence is being tested. Then I watch the news with all its war coverage and wonder, 'How can we have world peace, if we don't know peace within ourselves?' How can I ever refrain from judging others, blaming their choices, or getting pissed off at their reactions, if I cannot resolve that within myself? We need to BE the change!
This season, don't just change your lipstick shade or hair colour. Change your self-talk. Change your path. Change how you see things. Change your thoughts. Re-discover a part of yourself you miss. Re-evaluate your self-worth. Be Change, to See Change!