Are you ever about to do something, and then this warning signal sounds off, awakening self-doubt? Maybe it was that time you considered applying for a new position, but suddenly you second guessed your qualifications, and stayed on the bench. Or maybe you wanted to share your Nutella toast on social media, but stopped because you're a nutritionist, and well that wouldn't look good. It could even be the moment you're about to give advice, but stop yourself because you feel completely ineligible to share your input. Why. Do. We. Do. That?
Since this is my truth's landing pad, I'm about to share some uncomfortable feelings I've been harbouring. Confession: I've avoided setting my Instagram profile to 'public' for fear that perhaps some stranger will write a hurtful comment about my knowledge, capabilities, body type, eyebrows....basically anything. What about the bank of fitness (not yoga) videos I've created to help others get motivated to exercise? Well they're sitting in my phone, or rather, "on the bench". Because the truth is, who am I to offer workout videos? I'm not a trainer! I don't even exercise every day! My self-confidence gets triggered by the sad fact that I might be judged for suggestions I'll provide on what to eat, how to tone your triceps, who to see for back pain, or which books will change your life. The truth is the entire 'Fifty Shades' collection holds prime real estate in my book case. And although I eat to live, I also abuse ketchup Doritos when they're in season. As well, there are days when I feel motivated to hit the gym, and days when my only form of movement involves getting in and out of my car. And if I don't talk about my husband or kids, it doesn't mean they don't exist. My life is a minestrone of family, friends, yoga, reading, procrastinating, sharing, hiding, judging and loving. Can we all just be OK with that? Can we still cheer each other on through our highs, as well as our lows? Can we just be vulnerable more often?
It's time for a real, authentic audit of our behaviour, our patterns, our thoughts. We spend so much time scrolling through other people's lives, often comparing ourselves, while judging others on their baking skills, good looks, or eye-rolling, daily dose of positivity. Yes, I judge often too! You're not alone. In fact, we're way more the same than we are different.
So my rant today comes from a place of insecurity, mixed with vulnerability. You'll be judged for being too quiet, too loud, too skinny, too fat, too sexy, too boring, too confident, too submissive, too forgiving, too angry, too mean, too kumbaya! Fuck it! The next time your warning signal goes off, poking at your self-confidence, get up from the bench. The world has enough bench warmers, we need light bearers, brave souls that are willing to expose their truth. Everyone you judge wants to be happy. Just like you. And remember that being judged really sucks. We're all in this together. Instead of lifting ourselves by tearing down others, let's rise by lifting others. We've all got wounds that keep us small, insecure, and separate. Yet we all want to be loved, so loosen your grip on what others think and YOU DO YOU! Be brave, my friends! Reset your thoughts, open your heart, see yourself in others. And most importantly, LOVE THE ONE IN YOU WHO IS SAD. LOVE THE ONE IN YOU WHO IS SCARED. LOVE THE ONE IN YOU WHO IS ANGRY. LOVE THE ONE IN YOU WHO IS JUDGEMENTAL. LOVE THE ONE IN YOU WHO IS SUFFERING. LOVE THE ONE IN YOU WHO IS INSECURE. LOVE THE ONE IN YOU WHO HATES HERSELF. LOVE ALL THE ONES IN YOU, SO YOU CAN LOVE THEM IN OTHERS TOO.
