Fast forward six years later to today. I'm OK! I'm actually feeling fantastic! Here's the thing though, anxiety can eff you up badly. It can take you to a very dark, lonely place. I started this blog to share my story about my journey. Sometimes the content is light and loving, sometimes it's sad and angry. It's OK not to be OK. Life has highs and lows, joy and pain. Welcome all of it! I'm not always strong, confident, happy, positive. In fact most of the time, I have to remind myself to be in the moment, go with the flow. I spent most of my life showing up confident, but feeling insecure. I'm transforming everyday, as I hope you are too. I'm using this platform (social media too) as my space of vulnerability. Vulnerability is not weakness. It's risky to be open about your feelings, but I can't imagine being any other way.
I'm not for everyone! I can be wild in a bar, outgoing at dinner, and calm in a yoga session. I'm a box of chocolates....never know what you're gonna get! But I also want to have the hard conversations about: addiction, depression, divorce, illness, death. I refuse to numb the feelings that are essential to our growth. For a long time, my goal was to conquer every quest. Nope, that's not me anymore. I just want to be of service by continuing to show up, share my feelings, help if I know how. I can have a blog post viewed over 2000 times, but it's that private message I'll receive, that makes the difference. It's not about how many likes or followers we have. It's the ones that reach out to us with gratitude, or awareness, or relief in knowing that they're not alone. We can be brave and scared together. I'm learning that loving ourselves, through the process of owning our story (messy, scary, beautiful, extraordinary) is the bravest thing we'll ever do.
So, I'm OK, better than OK! I still struggle with fear, "never enough", judgement, shame, even joy. Despite all that, I'll continue to expose my emotions in hope that they be of benefit. For those who are inspired, enlightened, moved by my posts, you're my tribe. We see each other as the same. If you judge me, that's OK too. I learned that while we're busy judging others, we avoid looking at ourselves. Another loaded lesson! So today, go out into the world to serve from a place of vulnerability. You won't regret it!
