We all have a plan with expectations. From career path, to love
life, to family structure, we subconsciously create a story of how our life
will unfold. But what happens when the plan fails and our expectations take a
nose dive? Our life plan is similar to travelling. You choose a destination (aka, your goal), but there are no direct flights. You're given a travel itinerary that has you stuck in long lay overs, with connections to cities you never knew existed. Just when you take off, you're preparing to land. And when you're on a 14 hour flight with turbulence, you pray to get off. The lay overs are similar to our comfort zone. We feel safe because nothing much is happening. We're simply waiting for the next 'flight'. But if the last experience was traumatic, we'd rather skip the next flight and linger in our comfort. Ironically though, to discover the wonders of the world, you've got to get on that 14 hour, bumpy ride.
So is your plan manifesting to your liking? Are you in 'lay over' mode? Or, are you living the unexpected life? I'm not a fan of flying, so where does that leave me? Well I'm creative, so I find alternative solutions to get to my destination. I'm also living in the moment, so my progress is much slower. When I mapped out my life plan, my pace was fast with no room for delays. Until one day the unexpected happened. I was forced to stop, sit, and wait. Stop the speed, sit with my shadow and wait for the light. My expectations disappointed me in the best way possible. My journey went from the Eiffel Tower to four walls and a yoga mat. On that mat, I discovered that first class was nice, but the last row was enlightening.
To those suffering because their plan failed, I share this. You’re not your story. You’re not your divorce, or 'not enough'; you’re not your disease or your anger and guilt, or your sadness or resentment. You're a soul. Your path diverted into the unknown, but your soul remains the same. The sadness, anger, guilt, resentment are feelings in your story, but they're not who you are. You're simply a soul experiencing life. You suffer and I suffer, in my own way. So forget the story, and see the soul!
We're all travelling to different destinations, at our own pace. And like the tortoise and the hare, we get fooled by the competition. What we fail to understand is that we're all in the same race, heading towards our own finish line. Our ego taunts us to look at the one's running at a pace we can't maintain. And we feel defeated and shamed when we slow down, because we expected differently. Instead of thinking, 'I hope we all make it!’ we mentally sabotage ourselves with comparison and ideals.
As you read this, slow down, notice your breath. Stop and sit. Life is the best gift we can ever receive. Welcome whatever turbulence you're experiencing along your journey. Accept and acknowledge that you're allowed to have bad days. Know though, that those are the moments you're furthest from God. Keep those days few and far between. I may not know your suffering, but I know what suffering feels like. Through my own darkness, I still believe that even in the last row, life is good. And even more comforting is recognizing that first class and coach land at the same time. So we're all travelling together. Different destinations with different views. What matters is that we both scored a seat on an overbooked plane.
I wish us all a trip that keeps us close to God, with trust in the process of life. To those who get lost along the way, due impart to derailed expectations, you're not alone. So here's to the honest truth: "Life is amazing and then it's awful. And then it's amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful it's ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That's just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it's breathtakingly beautiful." -LR Knost
